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Comments (0) | by Courtney on January 5

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Courtney Macavinta is co-founder and president of The Respect Institute, which provides youth and their influencers with the vision and tools they need to build self-respect and spread respect for all.

She is an award-winning author, speaker and coach who has reached more than a million youth and families through her work, including programs, such as the Respect Rally, blog RespectRx.com and best-selling book, RESPECT (Free Spirit Publishing, 2005), which has won both IPPY and iParenting awards. Courtney creates and leads programs for The Respect Institute and is our spokesperson.

Throughout her tumultuous youth in San Jose, Calif., Courtney dealt with many of the same issues teens face today, from self-doubt and negative body image to risky choices, bullying, potential high-school dropout and confusion about her multi-racial identity—she's of Mexican, Filipino, Portuguese, French and Irish descent. Her hard-working family also struggled for respect amid substance abuse, incarceration, violence, poverty and racism. Like many, she fought to find respect without a compass or clue—then discovered it was within all along. Today that is her message to people everywhere: Respect is always within reach because true respect starts on the inside.

Courtney has been featured on CNN, ABC, Fox, National Public Radio, MSNBC and in USA Today, CosmoGIRL!, Teen People, Teen Vogue, Mothering, Glamour, The Seattle Times, The San Jose Mercury News and numerous other media. She also has been featured as a role model in the books The Quarterlifer's Companion, and Cool Women, Hot Jobs. Having been in online media since 1995, Courtney formerly was Editorial Director of the groundbreaking and Webby-nominated online and radio network ChickClick. Additionally, her articles have been published by The Washington Post, The Huffington Post, The Associated Press, The Sacramento Bee, CBS News.com and others.

She has spoken, trained or led event programs for youth, adults and organizations across the country coaching them to use The Respect Basics to end cycles of disrespect and thrive. She has partnered with organizations such as Girls Inc., the YMCA, YPO-WPO, Omega Institute Teen Camp, The National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy, Girl Scouts of the USA, the Dove Self-Esteem Fund, Girls For A Change, Girls Rock! Camp, the state women's conferences, Junior League, Sidwell Friends Schools, KIPP and and Derek Jeter’s Turn 2 Foundation. Additionally, she led a special program for teens attending the Democratic National Convention in 2008 and was invited to the White House in 2010 based on her work in domestic violence prevention and youth development.

Courtney has a B.A. in Journalism from San Francisco State University and is a certified co-active coach (CPCC) through the renowned Coaches Training Institute as well as a graduate of its Leadership Program. She lives in Northern California with her husband, former pro athlete and Respect Rally co-leader Jeremy Cleland, and son Tru.

MORE INFO
Media Clips
Press Kit

Comments (0) | by Courtney on February 4

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Oh, yes I have the decent book authorish, homeowner, mentor-y credentials now. But when I was girl, teen and young*er* woman, I couldn't get out of this abusive releationship. With myself. I went through lots of traumas and dramas and self-hatred. (Keep reading for my rap sheet).

Was this just growing up girl? Nope. I needed to be hooked up to a self-respect drip. Thank gawd I now know how to get my fix.

Although I've doubled in age since some of my biggest disrespect spirals, it's all still right here in the old memory bank. I guess what I'm saying to the girls of the world to whom I'm SO majorly devoted to today: I can relate, sisters.

Sometimes...I too hated my body. I too let people use me. I too was violated. I too was mean to others. I too was mean to my mom (sorry mommy--love you!). Like many of you, I needed my dad to do his job but he was hurting too much to show up to work (I made it, though, and so did he--love you dad!). I went out with guys who didn't respect themselves and *really* didn't respect me. I went through a nasty teen-binge-drinking stage. I cut school. I lied to myself and others. I didn't always appreciate being biracial or short or booty-esque. I too let myself down by not reaching my potential every single day.

I was on a disrespect tear sometimes and my parents couldn't stop me (believe me!). Despite my crisp cheerleading outfit (yep, that's right) sometimes my real spirit felt broken down. I felt like I was making the same mistakes over and over and over. Sometimes I was proud of myself. Other days I wanted to disown me. And I hid a lot this stuff and my feelings really well. The Academy doesn't know what it's missing.

So how did I get from that to this? I made the respect connection. I knew I wanted to be somebody. Then I realized I *already* was! I was here. Good enough...

First, I put my non-student-of-the-year-past behind me and went to college (community college, remedial math, the works--hey I barely got out of HS despite my full dance card). Some really cool teachers encouraged me. I found my passion (journalism). I also started "walking around the hole." Which is to say, I stopped doing stuff that made me feel bad, icky, dumb. I had, like, real goals--so outta my way! If something didn't feel right, I put on the brakes. I tried not to repeat experiences that made me feel like crap. BOUNDARIES. I found mine. I started hanging around people who respected themselves, too (or just paying attention to the fact that a lot of my friends had always been booming with self-respect). I learned how to talk again. Like about what was so not OK to do to me and what really mattered to me and what I thought about the world and other stuff.

I started to make self-respect the engine under my hood. And that was just the beginning to putting myself back on the road to respect.

I still struggle with some issues that my 13- to 18-year-old self battled, like: Appreciating and taking care of my body. Communicating honestly in all my relationships. Listening to myself. Gossiping too much. I still feel--sometimes--like I'm not good enough. But honestly, not that often. Sounds stuck up? Trust me it's a good thing. You gotta love and accept the one you're with, girls (Ms. You). You gotta "wear your crown" as O would say.

So why do I harp all day about respect, and write books and blogs about it? Because I want every girl to reach her potential. I want every girl to value herself more than all the bling in the world. I want every girl to be safe and to heal from the bad-dark stuff that happens. I want every girl to discover what one of my teacher's calls your "soul wisdom." In other words, I want you to know the real you and to be all in love with you. I want you to know how to stand by and for you. Then you can spread your yummy amazingness to the world. The world *needs* you to make it. It needs you to blow the lid off this mutha (in your own way, of course)! And it starts with respect on the inside.

Here I am this girl who didn't have a compass or a clue when I was a teen. I figured it out the hard, harder, hardest way. Because I love all girls like a sister, now I want to show you some shortcuts. In this case, you can totally cheat off my paper and read my diary...

And about my rap sheet. I wouldn't take any of it back (again, sorry mom!). Finding my way to Respect-ville was worth the journey. Because in life you can always make another choice and go in another direction and learn. That's the point after all.

Even my mom *tried* to tell me this in her graduation message to me in my yearbook. You know the ones. I just dug it out to scan a pic of that awesomely-big-haired-photo above. My smarty-pants mom said something so cool to me back then (single tear):

Please remember this as you start your new journey in life. We are constantly becoming what eventually we are going to be.

If you don't want to listen to your mom, listen to mine! Respect is your birthright. Isn't it time you got what you deserved?

Here's how to get started: know the basics and know your rights.

P.S. How do you struggle for respect? What have you figured out so far? Tell me--submit your comments below!

Comments (0) | by Courtney on February 4

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Q. Why did feel the need to write a book for girls about respect?
A. For starters, when we were teens we struggled with issues that leave a mark on any girl—negative body image or labels, doubts about our intelligence, seemingly “world-ending” mistakes, unhealthy relationships with guys and family members, and violence.

Once we were in college, we were still grappling with those feelings. But we were also able to find more support, guidance and sisterhood. We focused on our passions and accomplished goals such as becoming journalists. So we became more comfortable with our true selves, and found it easier to make choices that were right for us. What was missing in our teen years? It wasn’t just life experience. It was self-respect. We needed more of it, and the respect we did have—well, we needed to know how to hang on to it.

Q. With all the rights women have gained, why are girls still struggling for respect?
A. Because it’s not just about your options, but about how others treat you and how you treat yourself. It comes down to this: The more respect you have in your life, the more you’ll get out of life.

We saw this need for respect when we were editors at ChickClick. Thousands of girls were talking on our network about dilemmas, drama and traumas that they were dealing with every day. From not knowing how to express their true feelings to being pressured into sex—or to just look sexy—to not feeling in charge of their decisions or bodies. They described the "norm" of girl vs. girl fights, sexual harassment, date rape, eating disorders, or verbally abusive relationships. They were going through the same things we had—even worse. Yes, girls have to live and learn, but we felt there was a lot of mis-education going on. Disrespect shouldn’t feel like the norm.

We were so tired of girls—women—being held back by disrespect, myths and mixed messages. For example, girls are told they can do anything, but then they are pressured to package themselves as objects of desire. This is bunk. We wanted to pass on to girls what we’d finally learned: That respect is connected to everything. No matter what girls are going through or need, respect is the remedy. So we set out to write a guide to life for girls centered on how to build self-respect, get and give respect in relationships, take action to deal with disrespect, and spread respect for all people.

Q. How did you come up with The 7 Respect Basics?
A. We felt it was important to validate what many girls are going through, and to open their eyes to how disrespect can be derailing. Still we didn't want to start this conversation with girls from the vantage point that girls are "victims." Instead, we wanted girls to know that they have fundamental rights and that they deserve respect. We always come back to how you can take action in your own life—and your world—by listening to and standing up for yourself (and other girls).

We wanted to give girls solid ways to build respect inside and out—that's how the The 7 Respect Basics were born. We looked back at our teen years, the interviews we’d done with hundreds of girls and our conversations with experts. And ultimately we figured out that getting, giving and spreading respect came to learning and living these basics:
1. Having self-respect
2. Listening to your gut
3. Setting boundaries
4. Speaking up
5. Building strong relationships (and sisterhood)
6. Fighting for equality
7. Getting help

Q. You also say that every girl should know her rights. Why is this so important?
A. For girls to learn how to respect themselves, and get the respect they deserve from the world, they have to understand their rights. So on the very first page of the book, we make it clear that you have RIGHT to:
• Feel like you belong and are an equal
• Figure out what you need and take care of yourself
• Listen to your true feelings
• Speak your mind, change your mind and question the world around you
• Be different from your family, your friends and media ideals and images
• Feel and be safe
• Become independent
• Follow your passions and be the real you

Q. What do you want every girl to know?
A. Respect is every girl’s birthright. When you don’t get the respect you deserve, you have to claim it. And no matter what you’re going through or deciding, true respect is always within reach because it starts on the inside.

When girls everywhere are respecting themselves, standing together to fight for their rights, and getting respect from the world—the world will be as it should be. I can't wait!

Comments (0) | by Courtney on February 3

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RESPECT: A Girl's Guide to Getting Respect & Dealing When Your Line Is Crossed
By Courtney Macavinta and Andrea Vander Pluym

To be respected, girls need to know how they want to be treated, treat themselves that way, and let others know (respectfully, of course) to do the same. This smart, savvy book helps teen girls get respect and hold on to it no matter what. It covers topics they deal with daily, like body image, family, friends, the media, school, relationships, and rumors. It confronts tough issues like sexual harassment, date rape, sex, drugs, and alcohol. And it debunks the myths and stereotypes that hold girls back. Sidebars, scenarios, quotes from teens, tips, definitions, activities, and writing exercises get girls’ attention and keep them involved. The understanding, supportive “big sister” style inspires trust. Girls learn that respect is connected to everything, that every girl deserves respect, and that respect is always within reach because it starts on the inside.

Praise for RESPECT
CNN, Teen Vogue, CosmoGIRL! and critics agree that girls deserve RESPECT! "The best book of its kind that I've read—by FAR!" Carolyn See, The Washington Post

BUY the book!

About the Authors
Courtney Macavinta and Andrea Vander Pluym are former editors of the popular online and radio network ChickClick, and are award-winning writers for national publications. They mentor girls through leading organizations and are committed to empowering girls to be confident and courageous. More...

• Table of Contents
• Excerpt

Comments (0) | by Courtney on January 6

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Here's what past clients have to say about our programs for girls, women and advocates:

"After the Respect Rally, our students saw themselves as agents of change and developed ways to begin spreading respect locally and globally. If Respect Rallies happened at all schools across the nation, our world as a whole would definitely be impacted positively."
—Stephanie Payes, Counselor, KIPP (Knowledge is Power Program) San Jose Collegiate School

"Courtney is a phenomenal program facilitator and a true gift to the girls she works with. She is, as she teaches the girls to be, a 'creative, resourceful and whole' woman who truly leads by example. I found her style to be intuitive and organic which created activities and conversations that were inspiring and incredibly impactful for the girls and adults alike. Her energy set such a positive tone, and she created a safe space where everyone treated each other with respect, was open to learning and growing and was encouraged to explore and celebrate their unique strengths and talents. It has been wonderful to work with her on the uniquely ME! program!"
—Leanne Gluck, Project Manger, uniquely ME!, The Girl Scouts of the USA

“I loved that the Respect Rally allowed our 600 students to bond in smaller groups and see that the issue of respect is universal. The language Respect Rx uses is so perfect—it's like the language of teenagers and allows them to express themselves and tap into their power to address issues of disrespect in their lives. The visualization during the Rally was absolutely amazing—to see total silence as they were doing reflection, the girls scribbling while writing their letters, their eagerness to share with the group. The student-run Respect Groups have also been something that girls really resonate with as far as taking control of their lives. The Kit is easy to integrate with girls leading the way.”
—Heidi Rolfson, Counseling Department Chairperson, Notre Dame High School, San Jose, CA

"Courtney embodies what she teaches. Her passion, creativity and confidence in women and girls is contagious. She led the training of our thirty volunteers in a seemingly effortless manner, which combined humor and fun with focus and direction. Her intuition and attention to detail in preparing and catering the training to fit our specific needs was exceptional. She offered us numerous practical tools, which proved invaluable in helping us to carry out our mission, and in building empowerment, tolerance, and respect amongst our volunteers and the girls we aim to serve. One thing that truly sets Courtney apart from other leaders and advocates is her ability to affect individuals and the group at the same time. Courtney not only inspires social change, but she makes it possible."
—Sarah Mehlfeld, Program Coordinator of the Bay Area Girls Rock Camp

"I am sincere when I say that the past week of Respect Rx assemblies for more than 1,500 girls throughout Connecticut was the most enriching week I have ever spent in my 42 years in education. As a result of the program, many of the girls will be empowered to make changes that will help them develop into strong women who are confident, capable and self-reliant. Again, thank you for doing your part in making this powerful program possible; it truly was REAL!"
—Robert Lehr, Connecticut Interscholastic Athletic Conference and Connecticut Association of Schools

“In my 25 years in education, I've never been to an assembly where you can hear the overhead lights buzzing at times that's how engrossed the girls were in the program.” —Deborah Rutigliano, City Hill Middle School Vice Principal

"Courtney is able to connect with young women in a manner that at once opens them up to their most vulnerable selves, and also allows them to identify and stand in their power. Her ability to connect with young women across class, race, and age, coupled with her passion to truly partner with young women to create social change, has made her an invaluable resource."
—Patricia Torres, program director, Girls For A Change

"Courtney Macavinta presented an excellent workshop at our public library that discussed effective ways teens should respect themselves and how that reflects the respect you should get in your personal relationships. Her presentation was interactive and kept our teen audience excited and interested. She connected with the teens immediately and they were really comfortable talking to her during and after the presentation. If you are looking for an outstanding quality workshop that still let's you have fun and express yourself in a comfortable environment, I highly recommend having Courtney come to your library."
—Angie Miraflor, Teen Services Librarian San Jose Public Library

"Courtney Macavinta’s presentation for girls in the Coulee Region really made a huge impact. She bridged the gap that may have existed between these girls and allowed them to see that they had more in common than they thought—mostly the pressures of growing up and becoming independent and liking themselves."
—Erin Behlen, Options Clinic and Coulee Region Schools

More comments from Training participants…
“I respected the safe environment—many wonderful activities to use with my students.”

“It was interactive and transformative.”

“I liked the positive focus on action-based resources and materials. I rediscovered that opening up personally and connecting with kids is how you begin to impact them.”

“The presenters were incredible! I'm inspired to create a similar lesson plan for the students in my school.”

“I'm now inspired to enact changes in my school and to make a DIFFERENCE!”

“We were so excited by the program and the direct impact it can have with the young women at our school. We are already planning to meet tomorrow to summarize what we learned and begin to formulate a plan for our girls.”

The Getting REAL Tour
"Courtney Macavinta and Audrey D. Brashich are a dynamic team of presenters. Their workshop, Getting REAL, was perfect for a college audience. The workshop participants were enthralled by their visual medium and touched by their personal stories. We all walked away both wiser and stronger in resisting media pressure to internalize toxic prescriptions for ideal womanhood."
—Dr. Elena Klaw, Director of the Center for Community Learning & Leadership, San Jose State University

"The Getting REAL tour is an empowering experience for teen girls. Through honest discussion and fun activities girls learn to set boundaries, build supportive relationships, evaluate media hype and ‘get real’ about body image. This workshop is an invaluable learning opportunity for parents and teens."
—Michelle Barrese, Head of Youth Services, Menlo Park Library

"Audrey and Courtney effortlessly inspired more than 500 young women at our Annual Spirit of Leadership Conference to 'Be real!' Their ability to engage each and every young woman in the room was exactly what we had hoped for -- and they than delivered! More than any keynote speakers we have ever had, they became an intimate part of our family. We consider ourselves blessed to have Audrey and Courtney as future partners in empowering young women."
—Ken Druck, founder, Jenna Druck Foundation

Comments (0) | by Courtney on January 2

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