• About
• Press
• Programs + Speaking
• Events
• Blogs
• Books
• Tools
• Coaching + Training
• Shop
• Contact

Q. Why did feel the need to write a book for girls about respect?
A. For starters, when we were teens we struggled with issues that leave a mark on any girl—negative body image or labels, doubts about our intelligence, seemingly “world-ending” mistakes, unhealthy relationships with guys and family members, and violence.

Once we were in college, we were still grappling with those feelings. But we were also able to find more support, guidance and sisterhood. We focused on our passions and accomplished goals such as becoming journalists. So we became more comfortable with our true selves, and found it easier to make choices that were right for us. What was missing in our teen years? It wasn’t just life experience. It was self-respect. We needed more of it, and the respect we did have—well, we needed to know how to hang on to it.

Q. With all the rights women have gained, why are girls still struggling for respect?
A. Because it’s not just about your options, but about how others treat you and how you treat yourself. It comes down to this: The more respect you have in your life, the more you’ll get out of life.

We saw this need for respect when we were editors at ChickClick. Thousands of girls were talking on our network about dilemmas, drama and traumas that they were dealing with every day. From not knowing how to express their true feelings to being pressured into sex—or to just look sexy—to not feeling in charge of their decisions or bodies. They described the "norm" of girl vs. girl fights, sexual harassment, date rape, eating disorders, or verbally abusive relationships. They were going through the same things we had—even worse. Yes, girls have to live and learn, but we felt there was a lot of mis-education going on. Disrespect shouldn’t feel like the norm.

We were so tired of girls—women—being held back by disrespect, myths and mixed messages. For example, girls are told they can do anything, but then they are pressured to package themselves as objects of desire. This is bunk. We wanted to pass on to girls what we’d finally learned: That respect is connected to everything. No matter what girls are going through or need, respect is the remedy. So we set out to write a guide to life for girls centered on how to build self-respect, get and give respect in relationships, take action to deal with disrespect, and spread respect for all people.

Q. How did you come up with The 7 Respect Basics?
A. We felt it was important to validate what many girls are going through, and to open their eyes to how disrespect can be derailing. Still we didn't want to start this conversation with girls from the vantage point that girls are "victims." Instead, we wanted girls to know that they have fundamental rights and that they deserve respect. We always come back to how you can take action in your own life—and your world—by listening to and standing up for yourself (and other girls).

We wanted to give girls solid ways to build respect inside and out—that's how the The 7 Respect Basics were born. We looked back at our teen years, the interviews we’d done with hundreds of girls and our conversations with experts. And ultimately we figured out that getting, giving and spreading respect came to learning and living these basics:
1. Having self-respect
2. Listening to your gut
3. Setting boundaries
4. Speaking up
5. Building strong relationships (and sisterhood)
6. Fighting for equality
7. Getting help

Q. You also say that every girl should know her rights. Why is this so important?
A. For girls to learn how to respect themselves, and get the respect they deserve from the world, they have to understand their rights. So on the very first page of the book, we make it clear that you have RIGHT to:
• Feel like you belong and are an equal
• Figure out what you need and take care of yourself
• Listen to your true feelings
• Speak your mind, change your mind and question the world around you
• Be different from your family, your friends and media ideals and images
• Feel and be safe
• Become independent
• Follow your passions and be the real you

Q. What do you want every girl to know?
A. Respect is every girl’s birthright. When you don’t get the respect you deserve, you have to claim it. And no matter what you’re going through or deciding, true respect is always within reach because it starts on the inside.

When girls everywhere are respecting themselves, standing together to fight for their rights, and getting respect from the world—the world will be as it should be. I can't wait!

Comments (0) | by Courtney on February 3

email to a friend | link to this article

email this entry to a friend