Girls who have significant symptoms of depression as teens are 86% more likely than their peers to become victims of abuse from a boyfriend or husband as young women, according to a UC San Francisco study published in the March issue of the Archives of Pediatrics & Adolescent Medicine.

Rx: There are so many tough things we go through as teen girls that can lead to disrespect and abuse later in life. Now (no surprise) we can add teen depression to the list.

This is why Getting Help is a Respect Basic. Every girl needs to know how to ask for help whenever she needs it. And you need to know that when you get help you're respecting and standing for yourself (that there's nothing wrong with you). And when our friends, sisters and daughters don't ask for help, we need to trust our guts and reach out with open arms and open ears when they might need us most (like if they are sinking into deep depression).

The thing is, dating violence is already out of control in teen relationships: 57% of U.S. teens know friends who have experienced physical, sexual or verbal abuse in their BF/GF relationships. Abuse is the darkest form of disrespect and it derails young women's lives and potential. It's a world crisis that we can't ignore: 1 in 3 females worldwide have been abused in some way.

So when we add the risk factor that girls who are significantly depressed as teens are more vulnerable to abuse later on, it's time to step in and take action:

Dealing with depression. There are so many respect connections here. For example, girls who experiment with drugs, alcohol and sex are two to three times more likely to become depressed than those who don't (was totally true for me when I was teen). So first, let's focus on helping girls learn how to make choices that pass their gut checks and honor their boundaries (see RESPECT Chapters 1 & 2).

But not all depression is brought on by past choices or abuse—many teens are hit with clinical depression. So know the signs of depression. Also get help. Call you doctor or get help here, here or here if you or someone you know is depressed.

Know the cycle of abuse. Even if a girl isn't depressed, she could still be abused at some point (and if she wasn't depressed before, well now she will be). She might be berated and called names by her BF/GF. She might be slapped, hit, kicked or bitten by her BF/GF. She might be threatened with a knife or gun. She might be raped by someone she is dating or married to.

So one way to help any girl (including yourself) break the cycle is to know what to look for. Check out Love is Not Abuse or Break the Cycle to learn about the cycle of abuse, which goes something like this:
Tension builds and the abuser is verbally abusive ->
He explodes and beats up or rapes his girlfriend ->
He says he feels bad, is sorry or even buys his GF presents ->
She's afraid to leave or beaten down emotionally and stays ->
It starts all over again…

Spread respect. Let other girls or your daughters or other women know about the depression-abuse connection. Tell them about the cycle of abuse. Support them by letting them know their choices if they need help in any way. Listen real hard. (If you are forceful and bossy, they often feel attacked again—by you).

Mentor for or sign up for powerful after-school programs that boost girls self-respect (like these). Also, stay on top of the Violence Against Women Act (VAWA). It was just re-authorized by Congress is supposed to fund more dating violence prevention programs for teens as well as anti-stalking measures. But overall funding was slashed. So we need to keep asking for what we need, and we need laws like VAWA on our side. (That is, until person is safe from abuse.)

You can do it!
Here's a project you can take on today to create social change. You can order—for FREE—these helpline cards and hand them out to anyone and everyone. They're cute, small and can fit in your wallet (and they come in English and Spanish). Teens I mentor through Girls For A Change handed out more than 1,000 of these cards to guys and girls at in just a few weeks!

Comments (0) | by Courtney on March 9

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