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Talented filmmakers Ellen Frankenstein and Julia Smith made this wonderful mash-up during a workshop I participated in at Lead ON! for Peace and Equality Youth Minisummit hosted by the Alaska Network on Domestic Violence & Sexual Assault. I also led sessions there and met so many inspiring youth and advocates!

LEAD ON 2009: CHECKED BAGGAGE from Ellen Frankenstein on Vimeo.

Comments (0) | by Courtney on December 12

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15.5 million children in the United States live in families in which partner violence occurred at least once in the past year. And 1 in 5 teens who have been in a serious relationship report being hit, slapped or pushed by a partner. (Rihanna is not the only one).

My first memory in life is of my mother holding me up as a human shield to get my dad to stop beating her—I was just 2-years-old. I later learned that both of my parents grew up in homes where domestic violence was the norm. Now our mission is to make ‘respect for all’ the new status quo.

As part of the movement to end domestic violence, we're offering one of our signature workshop sessions, The Respect Basics, to teen advocates for free.

Free Workshop Session (Leader's Guide)
You can use the leader's guide for this 60-minute session, an excerpt from our Respect: Keep It Going! Kit, to help teens explore how to use the Respect Basics in their own lives, relationships and, ultimately, to end forms of disrespect like domestic and dating violence.

We hope this session will strengthen your domestic and dating violence prevention programs by showing teens that no matter what form of disrespect they're struggling with: respect is the remedy.

Click here to download the free workshop:

Comments (0) | by Courtney on October 15

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A brutal fight among girls is caught on video and posted on Facebook. Meanwhile a teen boy is murdered in Chicago and President Obama responds.

If you're scratching your head in disgust about this level of violence among teens—and the online "bragging rights" that follow—good. Now is not the time to get desensitized. Or to give up hope. I work with teens around the country (guys and girls) and they are craving safe, respectful environments to thrive. And, yet, they can't help but notice the communities around them are riddled with violence. Many teens are marinating in violence and aggression and their actions reflect that.

What can we do? Creating a non-violent world is not an overnight process. But it is a process that can start on the inside. No matter your age, start now:

1. Learn the Respect Basics
The Basics are not just about mutual respect and ending violence. They are about our whole lives. From realizing you are worth something (Know You're Valuable) to doing what you love (Follow Your Passions) to reaching out for support when you need it (Get Help). Self-respect and investment is required to grow into a non-violent person who spreads respect for all. I've been there (domestic violence, teen violence). Recovery is possible.

2. Teach the Basics
Whether you are a teen advocate or teen, model the Basics now. You can even lead this free workshop to teach the Basics to others. Download the workshop.

3. Stand for Respect
Bystanders perpetrate violence—period. And when were in groups as teens, we can freeze and watch violence vs. stepping up. Trust Your Gut and be safe, but also Set A Boundary and Speak Up! (all Basics). When you see something going down, put down the video camera (you know this doesn't feel right) and Get Help.

4. Get Help
We commit violence because we feel powerless, want power, are angry and have been hurt in the past. When violence is committed against us, we feel powerless, want power, are angry and we are hurt. Whether you are the victim or the perpetrator, you need help. To become a non-violent leader, we must heal our wounds not pound our fists. It's hard. It takes time. But we are all worth it. Help & Resources.

5. Make Changes
Parents and advocates: Check in with yourself. How are you modeling respect? When are you violent yourself (with words or actions or self-talk)? What message from you are your teens marinating in right now? Get the help you need to build the respect in your heart and around you for the sake of the teens you are shaping. And lets all be honest about the violence our teens are swimming in (media, neighborhood, school).
We need to partner with them to create change. Ask them tonight:
• What kinds of violence are seeing around you?
• What causes violence?
• How does it impact you?
• What can we do to make a change together? (fyi, see Girls For A Change's new action kit for women)

Respect is a choice we have to make together. Lets do this!

xoxoCourt

Comments (0) | by Courtney on October 2

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In addition to our free workshop, here are some powerful resources and tools to use with teens during Domestic Violence Awareness Month:

1. Book
My friend Victor Rivas, spokesperson for the National Network to End Domestic Violence, wrote this gripping memoir about his own survival of domestic violence. I feel it is especially powerful for teens to read as Victor tells his story of finally breaking free by telling his truth and getting help.
A Private Family Matter: A Memoir

2. Hotline
U.S. National Domestic Violence Hotline
1-800-799-7233
Resources

3. Programs
Family Violence Prevention Fund
Check out its Respect Campaign and Lessons from Literature program.

4. Parent Tools
MADE and Love is Not Abuse
Free program that moms, dads and schools can lead to prevent and end teen dating violence.
Learn more here

Comments (0) | by Courtney on September 30

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Chris Brown and Rihanna's case have made dating violence a big story again. It's a good time to make sure every girl, boy, man and women understand the cycle of violence.

Dating violence is not spicy passion or drama. It's violence. Whether it's heated, mean words, threats, intimidation or a punch to the face. It's violence. And violence hurts the victim and abuser. And it creates a long line of hurt in our hearts, families and communities.

I've mentioned this before on Respect Rx: My first memory in life is of my mom getting a severe beating from my dad. Both my parents were victims of child abuse. Both were caught up in the cycle of violence for a very long time. It rocked our family and held everyone back in one way or another. (I talk about it here in this video.)

Domestic violence weakens us all. It's hard to know that it is happening some times and how to stop it. It comes up all the time when we are working with girls and women at Respect Rallies or retreats. 1 in 5 teens who have been in a serious relationship report being hit, slapped or pushed by a partner. That's why I want you all to at least know what the cycle of violence is.

The cycle of violence goes something like this:
Tension builds and the abuser is verbally abusive ->
The abuser explodes and beats you up or commits rape ->
They abuser say he/she feels bad, are sorry or even buys you presents ->
You are afraid to leave or beaten down emotionally and stay ->
It starts all over again…Kids who witness the violence may become abusers or victims too.

If you need help right now:
Please call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or check out their website.

Love is Not Abuse is another helpful site.

Also, please check out:
Pages 143-151 in RESPECT. We cover the whole range there and offer resources and journal exercises.

More tips and help:
Abuse, Violence, Self-Harm

Whether you are the victim or abuser, you need help. Please reach out. Including to me.

Comments (0) | by Courtney on September 1

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If you've seen my story, then you know ending dating and domestic violence is a part of my big agenda. Chris Brown and Rihanna aren't the only ones who got caught in the cycle of violence:

1 in 5 teens who have been in a serious relationship report being hit, slapped or pushed by a partner...57% of U.S. teens have had a friend in an abusive relationship

You can now host a Respect Rally for teen girls and guys, as well as young adults, with a special focus on domestic violence prevention. In addition to our usual activities that focus on exploring and skill-building around The Respect Basics, this special Rally covers:
• the cycle of violence
• how to recognize the signs of an abusive relationship
• how to set boundaries and create mutually respectful relationships from the get-go

This is an empowering outcomes-based program to book during Domestic Violence Awareness Month this October. After attending a traditional Respect Rally, 500 teens surveyed showed the following notable shifts:

• 98% understood the difference between respect and disrespect (up from 51% prior to attending the Rally).
• 94% said they feel more comfortable setting boundaries and speaking up (up from 70%).
• 73% understood how to create respect in their relationships (up from 39%).
• 81% said they will definitely get help when they were disrespected or if they need it to achieve their goals or create change (up from 42%).

Click here if you want to book a Rally focused on dating and domestic violence prevention.

And please check out the resources from the RESPECT Campaign by the Family Violence Prevention Fund, too.

Comments (0) | by Courtney on May 6

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My dad is in jail for drugs. So much has happened to my family because of him. I want to forgive him but it's hard to go see him. I can't even think about him without crying. I still love him. What should I do?

Rx: First things first [LONG HUG]. One thing I haven't written about too much here, but that I talk to girls a lot about in person, is that I've been exactly where you are right now. My dad was in and out of jail a lot when I was growing up. Before I was born he also did a long stretch in federal prison. All of his arrests were connected to suffering from the disease of alcohol/drug addiction. My dad went through hell in his life—and my mom, me and my sibs got our share too because of it.

My first memory is of my mom holding me up as a human shield to try get my dad to stop beating her—possibly to stop from killing her. I remember that she was covered in blood and cowering on the bed into a corner. I remember the wild look in my father’s eyes as our eyes met. I think he was definately high. I was somewhere around 2-years-old. And my dad did stop. That time.

At the same time, my dad was a beautiful person. He was artistic and giving. He died when I was 25 and he was clean and sober by then. He loved me like nobody's business. If only he'd been loved the same way when he was kid, I'm not sure his life would have been so hard. It's a complicated cycle.

You love your dad. Yet, he's not there for you right now. So I know it hurts. I know you probably have waves of major anger. You can't control what your dad did or where he is now. You'll hopefully find your own path to forgiveness—I can offer that forgiving my dad helped me a lot. But for now: I encourage you to get help for yourself. Because you deserve it. Please take the steps to find a counselor in your area. And check out Alateen, a free, anonymous support group for kids and teens who are dealing with the family disease of addiction. If you're in California, check out Friends Outside for more support and resources. Or ask them for a referral to a similar org in your state. I also found this org: The Center for Children of Incarcerated Parents, which offers therapy and other resources. I like the rights listed here: read them.

Remember: Getting help is a Respect Basic. Have no shame about it. Just reach out. Mostly, don't give up on yourself. You don't have to be "locked up" too. You can express your feelings. You are your own person. You have a mission in life. You have passions. And you can heal. When you get help for yourself, what to do about your dad, whether to see him, etc. will reveal itself to you. You will know. For now, know you are not alone. And know that I am here for you. If you email me directly, we can talk more (courtney[at]respectrx[dot]com).
xoxoxo

COMMENTS: PLEASE SHARE YOUR "I CAN RELATE" STORIES BELOW AND ANY RESOURCES FOR TEENS WHO ARE IN THIS SITUATION. THANKS!

Comments (0) | by Courtney on March 11

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My dad always yells at me and calls me names. It really hurts my feelings but if I yell back I get in even more trouble. My mom doesn't do anything. What should I do?

Rx: First, [hug]. Second, I totally feel for you—I know that it really does hurt so much. What you're dad is doing is called "verbal abuse" and for most if us it leaves deep scars just like physical abuse. You just can't see the wounds as easily, right?

When our family put us down it seems to hurt more than anything in the world because we love them so much (and want them to love us). But the yelling and name-calling can make us feel just the opposite: Like no one loves us. And when this happens, a disrespect spiral starts that can pull you off course from reaching your potential in life. It's hard to make your dreams come true and to be the best you if you don't think you're worthy of love and respect.

So how do you deal when someone who is bigger than you, and has power over you, verbally abuses you? Try these steps to protect you and your self-respect:

Know you don't deserve it. You have a right to feel and be safe. No matter what goes down before your dad tears into you, it's not your fault. He's choosing to deal with his feelings, and probably abuse he suffered, by abusing you. You're not "making" him do it. From your family to loves/crushes to friends to your boss or teacher, **no one** has the right to abuse you. What they're saying isn't the truth about you. You don't (and never) deserve it.

Get help. When you feel ready (and I hope it's soon), tell someone in your life what's going on and how it's making you feel. Is there someone else in your family you can turn to? Can you tell your mom how it's hurting you? If so, ask her to step in and put a stop to what's happening or to sign your whole family up for counseling. Getting help by speaking up is brave. And it's better than what some girls end up doing when they feel like they have no options, like running away or turning to substances to numb the pain or abusing themselves in other ways.

If you can't talk to a friend, family member or trusted adult, please call a helpline. They will help you!

I know you're probably afraid that your dad will get in trouble. Still, you *are* loving your dad by taking care of you. If you get the help you need, lucky for him, there is a chance that he will get help too and you'll be able to forgive him down the line. But if he won't get it or won't stop, you still need to help yourself. A helpline can help you find out how to:
• deal with how the abuse is affecting you.
• take care of yourself.
• find safety (fyi, verbal abuse can escalate to physical abuse).
• take steps so you don't fall into abusive relationships in the future (like many victims of childhood abuse do).
• not become an abuser, too.
• heal and get ongoing support.

Girls being put down and hurt is not the norm any of us should settle for. Please ask for help. You are not alone and you deserve better!

Believe in you. It's true that when someone hurts you, you are weakened by the abuse, and so a lot of times it's harder to take care of and respect yourself. Sometimes you can't see any way out. In these moments, close your eyes and say to yourself: I don't deserve this. I deserve respect. I deserve love. Whatever you say, don't repeat the abuser's venom (NO saying: I'm stupid. I hate myself. I'm nothing. etc.).

And if you have that feeling inside like you want to fight back—do it.

I don't mean acting out violently or returning the insults. I mean, fight for your rights. To fight for your rights means to: get help and seek safety. To invest in your self-respect (like still going after your dreams and passions). To set boundaries (like not letting anyone else in your life—like a boyfriend—hurt your feelings, too). To know that you are *here* and you were meant to be: The world needs you to do your thing! To know that you deserve better. (And you do.)

So don't give up and don't stop seeking help.

Real Girl Monica went through something similar. She says if you feel comfortable, and your dad has heard you out in the past, also try talking to your dad. Remember, speaking up (when your gut says it's safe!) is a Respect Basic. Here's her advice:

I know it's very difficult to stay quiet when your dad is yelling at you. There are so many things you want to say yet if you say them you might get in trouble (believe me I know a thing or two about this). What is happening to you and your dad is exactly what I went through with my dad. What I learned about my dad is he is more understanding when he is in a good mood or calm. So my suggestion is that when you see him in a good mood, just sit down and talk to him. Tell him everything you feel when he yells at you. Tell him his words hurt you. Believe me he'll have second thoughts about hurting your feelings next time. It worked for me and my dad. I hope it works for you too.

MORE INFO>
RESPECT Chapter 9: Dealing with Abuse

Comments (0) | by Courtney on February 25

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My husband joined me in my business recently, and seems bent on proving to me that he is competent to run the business now and I am not. He cuts me down at nearly every opportunity and treats me with disrespect in so many subtle ways! I am losing confidence. What to do?

Rx: First, the good news: You already know you deserve better which is a Respect Basic. You know that what your husband is doing is disrespectful and you know your self-respect is on the line. Here are some steps you can take to speak up and make some changes:

Set some boundaries. Mixing business with marriage is never easy. But under all of our roofs—whether we live with roommates, partners, or other family members—we often have to cooperate to pay the bills, make dinner, clean the house, solve problems and plan for tomorrow. To protect your self-respect, for starters, think/journal about how you feel about your husband’s treatment. Also list the boundaries you want to set with him. Start with major disrespect dilemmas at the top of the list (like when he puts you down) and work down the list to the business issues (like what is the clear division of responsibilities going to be at the office?).

Speak up. Next, when you're ready, tell him how his treatment is making you feel [“(I feel (blank) when you (blank) and I want (blank to change in the following ways)”]. You might need more support from a therapist before you can draw the line—especially if underneath it all you feel unsafe around him. You might want to practice what you’ll say by writing it down in your journal. If your husband is someone you can work with on this, come up with mutually agreed upon terms for how you’ll cooperate in the future on the business front. This is easier said than done, I know. So you might also consider going to a marriage counselor who can help you work through these issues together (If he’s acting this way now, is it safe to say some of this behavior was going on before you became co-workers?).

Dig deep. In my own life, I’ve found that not dealing with my stuff (like growing up with family addicts and all the awesome;) stuff that comes along with that sich) messed with my “business” on the homefront. I could be controlling and critical and fearful on the drop of a dime. I needed to get help before I could create more respect in my heart and marriage (for me this has shaped up as therapy and support groups like Al-Anon and lots of open converations with people from my friends to my husband—I’m still working it, believe me!). Are there any Big Hurts that need your attention? E.g. the verbal abuse (and that's what I consider put-downs of any sort) from your husband is something I’d encourage you to get help around asap. Also, think about the consequences if things don’t change on the major issues, like [“If working together is going to cause all this stress on our relationship, and things don’t change, then maybe we shouldn’t work together...”].

Take care of you. In the meantime, each and every day take care of yourself (eat, sleep, have quiet time, walk). Focus on and soak in your passions—this builds your confidence, self-respect and resilience during hard times like these. Lastly, reach out to your sisters. Sisterhood is another respect basic and for good reason: When you are diminished, I am diminished. When you are successful, I am successful. Don’t be embarrassed to go to your girlfriends for shoulders to lean on and ears to bend. You’ll be surprised to learn how they struggle too, and that they will listen with open hearts. If you don’t have close friends, put this high on your list of things to do for you. Take a risk and start creating strong relationships (another basic) and speaking up with your friends about what’s really going on with you (yet another basic). We all need support on the path to respect—and that need never goes away.

Comments (1) | by Courtney on February 2

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I went to an 8th-grade graduation this week where almost every academic award from science to math to history to top of the class went to a young woman. Things seem to be changing: Maybe girls aren't being short-changed anymore?

But all it takes is a quick peek at the global headlines to remind us of how much work we still have to do fight for equal rights/health/peace for our global sisterhood. (Believe it or not, The Gates Foundation + Warren Buffet can’t do it all, but here's hoping.)

Want to make sure every human being gets the respect—and opportunity—she/he deserves? Take a look at these scenarios, and find out how you can take action in 5 minutes or less:

Situation: 1.8 million children are being affected, violated and harmed by conflict in Dafur.
What you can do: Support UNICEF.

Situation: Violence against women and the lack of globally respected human rights is fueling the spread of HIV/AIDS.
What you can do: Support Human Rights Watch.

Situation: The money required to meet the developing world's sexual and reproductive health needs will amount to US$36 billion per year by 2015, according to the new report by the UN Millennium Project.
What you can do: Support free health services for women and girls in your community, and donate to the Global Health Council, and push for free access to the HPV vaccine for all when it hits the market—for starters!

Want to lead your own campaign for social change? Start here.

Comments (0) | by Courtney on June 27

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Girls who have significant symptoms of depression as teens are 86% more likely than their peers to become victims of abuse from a boyfriend or husband as young women, according to a UC San Francisco study published in the March issue of the Archives of Pediatrics & Adolescent Medicine.

Rx: There are so many tough things we go through as teen girls that can lead to disrespect and abuse later in life. Now (no surprise) we can add teen depression to the list.

This is why Getting Help is a Respect Basic. Every girl needs to know how to ask for help whenever she needs it. And you need to know that when you get help you're respecting and standing for yourself (that there's nothing wrong with you). And when our friends, sisters and daughters don't ask for help, we need to trust our guts and reach out with open arms and open ears when they might need us most (like if they are sinking into deep depression).

The thing is, dating violence is already out of control in teen relationships: 57% of U.S. teens know friends who have experienced physical, sexual or verbal abuse in their BF/GF relationships. Abuse is the darkest form of disrespect and it derails young women's lives and potential. It's a world crisis that we can't ignore: 1 in 3 females worldwide have been abused in some way.

So when we add the risk factor that girls who are significantly depressed as teens are more vulnerable to abuse later on, it's time to step in and take action:

Dealing with depression. There are so many respect connections here. For example, girls who experiment with drugs, alcohol and sex are two to three times more likely to become depressed than those who don't (was totally true for me when I was teen). So first, let's focus on helping girls learn how to make choices that pass their gut checks and honor their boundaries (see RESPECT Chapters 1 & 2).

But not all depression is brought on by past choices or abuse—many teens are hit with clinical depression. So know the signs of depression. Also get help. Call you doctor or get help here, here or here if you or someone you know is depressed.

Know the cycle of abuse. Even if a girl isn't depressed, she could still be abused at some point (and if she wasn't depressed before, well now she will be). She might be berated and called names by her BF/GF. She might be slapped, hit, kicked or bitten by her BF/GF. She might be threatened with a knife or gun. She might be raped by someone she is dating or married to.

So one way to help any girl (including yourself) break the cycle is to know what to look for. Check out Love is Not Abuse or Break the Cycle to learn about the cycle of abuse, which goes something like this:
Tension builds and the abuser is verbally abusive ->
He explodes and beats up or rapes his girlfriend ->
He says he feels bad, is sorry or even buys his GF presents ->
She's afraid to leave or beaten down emotionally and stays ->
It starts all over again…

Spread respect. Let other girls or your daughters or other women know about the depression-abuse connection. Tell them about the cycle of abuse. Support them by letting them know their choices if they need help in any way. Listen real hard. (If you are forceful and bossy, they often feel attacked again—by you).

Mentor for or sign up for powerful after-school programs that boost girls self-respect (like these). Also, stay on top of the Violence Against Women Act (VAWA). It was just re-authorized by Congress is supposed to fund more dating violence prevention programs for teens as well as anti-stalking measures. But overall funding was slashed. So we need to keep asking for what we need, and we need laws like VAWA on our side. (That is, until person is safe from abuse.)

You can do it!
Here's a project you can take on today to create social change. You can order—for FREE—these helpline cards and hand them out to anyone and everyone. They're cute, small and can fit in your wallet (and they come in English and Spanish). Teens I mentor through Girls For A Change handed out more than 1,000 of these cards to guys and girls at in just a few weeks!

Comments (0) | by Courtney on March 9

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Part of respecting yourself means figuring out what you need. That might mean getting help in a situation that's dangerous, or digging deeper for more information on a subject. This section is full of resources to help you do some major exploring or to get help.

HELPLINES
Al-Anon/Alateen
888-4AL-ANON (888-425-2666)
www.al-anon-alateen.org
Support for families and friends of alcoholics. Use the Web site to find a local chapter near you or look it up in the phone book.

America's Pregnancy Helpline
800-672-2296
www.thehelpline.org
Free and confidential help for pregnancy, prenatal health and reproductive options, including parenting, adoption, and abortion. Check out the Web site for more info and helpful tips on making a decision about pregnancy.

Girls and Boys Town Hotline
800-448-3000
www.girlsandboystown.org
Call anytime with any problem, including feelings of depression or thoughts of suicide. This hotline offers crisis resources and referrals and is staffed by trained counselors.

National Association of Anorexia Nervosa and Associated Disorders
847-831-3438
www.anad.org
Helpline open Monday through Friday 9 A.M. to 5 P.M. (CST). Web site is loaded with information about eating disorders and treatment referrals for your area.

National Center for Victims of Crime
800-FYI-CALL (800-394-2255)
www.ncvc.org/tvp
Offers a toll-free helpline, a comprehensive collection of online resources, and service provider referrals. Check out the center's Teen Victim Project to learn more about assault, bullying, sexual abuse, dating violence, stalking, and how to get help and take action to stop violence against girls.

National Child Abuse Hotline
800-422-4453
www.childhelpusa.org/programs_hotline.htm
A hotline for parents, children, professionals, and anyone concerned that child abuse is occurring.

National Domestic Violence Hotline
800-799-SAFE (800-799-1233)
www.ndvh.org
Crisis intervention, information about domestic violence, and referrals to local service providers for victims and those calling on their behalf.

National Substance Abuse Helpline
800-DRUG-HELP (800-378-4435)
A confidential helpline for help with questions or concerns related to substance abuse.

Rape, Abuse and Incest National Network (RAINN) National Sexual Assault Hotline
800-656-4673
www.rainn.org
This free, confidential counseling hotline is available 24/7. The Web site has tons of information about sexual abuse and what to do if you've been sexually assaulted.

SAFE (Self-Abuse Finally Ends)
800-DONT-CUT (800-366-8288)
Get referrals to local programs that can help girls who self-injure or cut.

Teen Relationships Hotline
800-799-SAFE (800-799-7233)
www.teenrelationships.org
Call the nationwide 24-hour hotline for support, assistance, information, counseling, shelter, and other services. The Web-based chat room is open Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday evenings.

ORGANIZATIONS
American Psychological Association
www.apa.org
Wondering if shyness is normal, if you're getting enough sleep, if your perfectionism is harmful, or how to tell if you have depression? Learn about post-traumatic stress disorder and other mental and emotional traumas, and how to find a therapist in your state.

American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry
Assists parents and families in understanding developmental, behavioral, emotional, and mental disorders that can affect teens. Also offers links to support groups.

KidsPeace
Educates teens, parents, and professionals about how to anticipate and avoid crisis whenever possible. Also provides mental and behavioral health treatment programs and crisis intervention services.

Bursting the Bubble
www.burstingthebubble.com
Good information on abuse in families. Includes quizzes, checklists and a guide for understanding and dealing with abusive situations.

National Association of Social Workers (NASW)
www.naswdc.org
You can do an online search of the NASW Register of Clinical Social Workers to find a social worker in your area who can provide mental health services.

Project NoSpank
www.nospank.net
You'll find everything you need to know about the widespread use of physical punishment and its consequences, including how to stop its use in America by creating awareness campaigns.

Teen Central Helpline
A Web site for teenagers created by teenagers and monitored by professionals. Helps teens in crisis by giving them a private, anonymous place to receive sound, tested advice from professionals and to relate with their peers in a safe, professionally counseled environment.

U.S. Department of Justice: Office on Violence Against Women
202-307-6026
www.ojp.usdoj.gov/vawo
Handles the Department's legal and policy issues regarding violence against women, including responding to requests for information regarding violence against women. Works closely with state, tribal, and local jurisdictions to implement the mandates of the Violence Against Women Act and subsequent legislation.

V-Day
www.vday.org
Nonprofit corporation that distributes funds to grassroots, national, and international organizations and programs that work to stop violence against women and girls.

BOOKS
The Courage to Heal: A Guide for Women Survivors of Child Sexual Abuse by Ellen Bass and Laura Davis
This book offers advice, resources, and practical guidance for sexual abuse victims on getting help and building self-esteem. Plus, it recommends supportive strategies for families and friends.

In Love and in Danger: A Teen's Guide to Breaking Free of Abusive Relationships by Barrie Levy
A guide designed to help with numerous relationship issues.

Surviving a Stalker: Everything You Need to Know to Keep Yourself Safe by Linden Gross
From the founder of Stalking Victims Sanctuary, this book covers everything from cyber stalking to creating safety plans. Or see: www.stalkingvictims.com.

When Nothing Matters Anymore: A Survival Guide for Depressed Teens by Bev Cobain
A book for teens on how to recognize depression, get help and stay well.

When Something Feels Wrong: A Survival Guide About Abuse for Young People by Deanna S. Pledge
Support and healing for teens when it comes to physical, sexual, and emotional abuse. Checklists, journaling exercises, and encouragement help the healing process.

llustration by Catherine LePage © Free Spirit Publishing Inc. 2005

Comments (0) | by Courtney on January 20

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WEB SITES + ORGS
http://www.motherlessdaughtersbiz.com is a support group for girls and women who've lost their mothers based on Hope Edelman's amazing book Motherless Daughters: The Legacy of Loss.

The Children's Rights Council
301-559-3120
www.gocrc.com
This national organization helps kids have meaningful and safe contact with both parents and extended family.
GirlMom
www.girlmom.com
Community forums, articles, and encourage-ment for teen moms.

Stepfamily Network
www.stepfamily.net
Get support and advice on dealing with stepparents.

BOOKS
Bradshaw On: The Family
by John Bradshaw
This is considered one of the most classic books for understanding family dynamics and ways that we're affected by our upbringing. The author hosted a feature series on PBS on the subject.

Bringing Up Parents: The Teenager's Handbook
by Alex J. Packer
Tips for how teens can resolve conflicts, create trust, and improve their relationships with parents.

Cool Communication: From Conflict to Cooperation for Parents and Kids
by Andrea Frank Henkart and Journey Henkart
A mother and her teen daughter write about keeping it real with great communication skills. This is a must-have book if you want to have a mutually respectful relationship with your parents. You can also visit their Web site at www.coolcommunication.com.

Dads and Daughters: How to Inspire, Understand, and Support Your Daughter
by Joe Kelly
If your dad isn't spending enough time with you or you just aren't relating, you'll both appreciate this book. Or, check out the Web site at: www.dadsanddaughters.org.

Daughters: The Newsletter for Parents of Girls
www.daughters.com
Tell your parents about this Web site, where they can sign up to receive a bi-monthly newsletter that features tips for how to raise strong, self-confident daughters.

How Rude! Handbook Of Family Manners For Teens
by Alex J. Packer
This book has tips to help you show your family members respect and keep the peace.

The Grieving Teen: A Guide for Teenagers and Their Friends
by Helen Fitzgerald
This book includes FAQs that teens have about grief, followed by a What You Can Do section. The topics covered include death from AIDS, post-traumatic stress disorder, Internet support, and more.

llustration by Catherine LePage © Free Spirit Publishing Inc. 2005

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