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Advocate: Author Debbie Reber
Blog: Smart Girls Know
Recent book for teens: Chill: Stress-Reducing Techniques for a More Balanced, Peaceful You
About: Debbie lives in Seattle with her husband Derin, her son Asher and her dog Baxter. Read more about Debbie on her web site.
Her mission: "To create social media that inspires and empowers girls—from tweens to teens to young women and even women—to be their most authentic selves so they can live their best, most fulfilled lives."

Respect Rx: What originally inspired you to get into girl advocacy?
Debbie: I’ve always had this really strong desire to affect other people in a positive way. When I moved to New York after college, I was working for UNICEF but my volunteering always centered on teens. I volunteered for a homeless shelter for teens in New York for a couple of years. I think the year I was 15 was the worst year of my life, but I’m one of those people who is always looking to grow, learn, move on and recover from past mistakes. So as I acquired that information I felt a really strong urge to give back in the hopes of helping people get to that point sooner and skip some of the painful mistakes I made. And it’s part of who I am—so when I talk to girls’ groups, I’m a very open person. I will share anything and everything. And I find that can often be the bridge because being open helps teens realize that I get where they’re at.

What advocacy accomplishment are you most proud of?
The thing that I’m feeling connected to right now and happy about is my work as a coach with Girls on the Run. It’s a 12-week national program and they work with 3rd to 6th grade girls. It’s a curriculum using running as a tool to deal with all these other issues like media literacy or bullying. I’ve coached for a number of seasons. When I was first doing this, people thought I was crazy—working full time, raising a child and volunteering a couple of days a week. But I got so much out of it because so much of my work hasn’t been one-on-one with girls, and to have that opportunity is just awesome. This season, I’m doing a 5K with my little 4th-grade running buddy.

What other advocates or organizations do you admire?
I like the work that Mind on the Media is doing in terms of media literacy. I’m a big fan of New Moon magazine and Teen Voices for giving a voice to girls and letting them be on the board and run the ship. I’m involved locally with the Seattle Girls’ School on the board of directors. It’s a new school that’s very cutting-edge in their approach to education. They highlight math and science, which is great, but they also have this incredible anti-bias curriculum and they’re walking the walk. They’re turning out girls who know, in 8th grade, who they are, their strengths and weaknesses and how to work in teams. They’re set up to be incredible leaders and they’re all social change agents. I was a founding member of WriteGirl and I’m still on the advisory board. And Girls Inc. and the Girl Scouts are doing great work as well. Of course, I’m a fan of Courtney and Respect Rx and I’m totally excited to get involved with the leadership training for the Respect Rallies. I think the work that she and Audrey Brashich have done together is great.

What strikes you as the most pressing issue girls face today?
What I see in my work is low self-esteem in girls. It’s so hard to watch girls change from 5th grade and then they’re different people when you check in with them in 7th grade. They doubt themselves so much. It’s hard to watch girls go through that phase where—unless they have a strong support system in place—they tend to get lost.

Tell us more about your mission?
I think my whole purpose is to give girls information. I don’t try to do super-teen speak, I don’t use all kinds of text shorthand. I just try to connect with them in a way that feels really genuine, give them information in a way that’s relevant to their lives. There are so many things that if I had known, even one phrase could have made a huge difference in how I saw the world. Just knowing that my emotions are controlled by the things I tell myself. And knowing that connection and realizing that by changing your thoughts—which is a very conscious thing you can do—you can affect everything else.

If you had a chance to talk to your younger self, what would you tell her?
Two things come to mind: One is to not look for self-worth through boys, because I did a lot of that in college and it’s the part of my life that is still hard for me to think about. Just to tell myself “that wasn’t going to cut it for you or give you what you needed.” And the other thing is knowing that things are going to work out just fine, that there’s so much more to life than your world at 15. Just hang in there and get through it, and your whole world is going to open up.

What would you say to a woman who wants to get involved in girl advocacy but isn’t sure where to start?
I would say there are a gazillion opportunities out there. Find something you’re passionate about separately and bring that love to a program for girls in that area. For me, running is a passion of mine and my work with Girls on the Run connects those two things. It’s the perfect thing for me because I bring all of my energy to it. And just to know that by being a self-assured, confident woman, you are by default a role model for every girl you come into contact with. They’re looking at who you are and deciding, “Do I want to be like that?” I’m very conscious when I’m interacting with my girls from Girls on the Run. They ask me how old I am and I’m careful not say, “Ugh, I don’t want to tell you.” I say, “I’m 38,” because I know they’re listening to me and they’re going to make a judgment about how I feel about myself by how I respond to that question. Just know that we’re being watched, and even if it’s not a formal situation, you can always have a positive impact on girls.

Debbie's picks:
Girls Inc
Girl Scouts
Mind on the Media
New Moon
Seattle Girls School
Teen Voices
WriteGirl

—Interview by guest editor Tara Swords

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