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get in effect here

Comments (1) | by Courtney on June 21

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Along with our fabulous Respect Rx Groups that are just for girls, may we also suggest: the RESPECT Book Club.

RESPECT Book Clubs are casual, fun and a place to be real with each other and share feelings and issues about self-respect, relationships and making healthy choices. You can create the club just for moms and daughters, girls and their big sisters or woman mentors, or you can modify the format and create a special dads and daughters version!

Some suggestions for getting started:

Step No. 1: Set up your book club. Before your first meeting, you’ll want to:

• Select an appropriate venue for the book club (library, members’ houses, school, etc).

• Recruit a dedicated group of mothers and daughters, for example.

• Pick a recurring date and time for the club to meet.

• Distribute information on how to get the book for those who haven’t already.

• Appoint a moderator to lead the first discussion. After that, rotate!

• Design a way to keep members informed about meeting details and reading assignments, such as an email group or a phone tree.

Step No. 2: Create a Respect Pact. In the spirit of the book, it’s important to set the tone for the group with a Respect Pact. You can design this pact in the group’s first meeting and read it at the beginning of every meeting as ritual. The pact can address:

• How you’ll show each other respect.

• How you’ll share responsibilities and organizational tasks.

• The way that daughters will support their mothers, and vice versa.

• The promise of privacy—what is said during book club meetings stays within the group (no post-club gossip!).

• What resources you’ll approve to be used in the meeting, such as trusted helplines or other books besides RESPECT when you're done reading it.

Step No. 3: Try the sample meeting format: Here’s one suggested way to set up each book club meeting:

• Form a circle with chairs or on the floor.

• Start things off by reading the Respect Pact (see above).

• Each week can focus on one of the 12 chapters in RESPECT. Come to the meeting having read the corresponding content for the week. You can also take turns reading sections of a chapter during the meeting.

• Start off with a discussion round, in which members can share how the content relates to their lives. If you’re reading the book during the meeting, have each person share after they’ve read. Make sure everyone has a chance to share and try to avoid giving advice if a personal issue comes up. Instead, remember that each girl and woman can figure out her own life. Listen, ask open-ended questions but don't try to fix each other.

• Engage the group in an activity, such as one directly from the book. You might do a group activity or a quiet journaling activity. Another option is to agree to do the journaling as an assignment for the next meeting.

• Close the meeting by reading Your Rights together.

xoxo

Comments (0) | by Courtney on June 5

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In late April, we headed to Connecticut to lead the Connecticut Interscholastic Athletic Conference and Dove Campaign for Real Beauty Self-Esteem Week! Our mission: To inspire and empower the 1,600 girls who attended our Respect Rx assemblies to GET REAL, respect each other and focus on their passions versus outside packaging. And we were JUST as inspired by the truly phenomenal girls we met at seven schools in seven days! HEY GIRLS!!!xoxox

Our journey took us all over the Hartford area—from Southington to Naugatuck to Berlin to Cheshire. At each middle school and high school, we focused on what keeps us from being real and respecting ourselves? Then we got down to boosting our self-respect and supporting each other in getting more real. Girls got out of their seats, spoke up and showed each other that no one is alone when it comes to universal self-esteem issues. Many of us struggle with body image, not fitting in, perfectionism, drama with friends, tough family issues, negative habits and thoughts, addictions or abuse. So many girls came up to us after to get more support and share their own stories.

One of their fave parts was seeing the Dove film titled "Evolution," which exposes fakery in media by showing a model's transformation from her roll-out-of-bed self to a billboard beauty—all with the help of Photoshop finesse. Even if they'd seen it, the film sparked us all to think about: Then why do we still fall for this stuff?

The video definitely opened up an interesting dialogue with the girls about how media affects us. We also played a game that questions why do we instantly recognize the women from reality TV and celeb magazines versus social change agents like Wangari Maathai or Mayerly Sanchez?

After debunking some beauty myths, we focused on where we want to go. Do we want unrealistic ideals and drama to hold us back? Or do we want to be true to ourselves and follow our passions? Most girls say YES to owning their power! We led the girls through a 15-minute visualization where they got to meet their Future Self. In this activity, girls fast forward five years into the future to see how their Future Self lives. Girls met the woman they'll become. She was most often strong, educated, confident. They envisioned themselves as doctors, record producers, special ed teachers, architects, college students and so much more! It was truly breathtaking to see auditoriums filled with hundreds of girls deeply meditating with eyes closed and mentally designing their futures. (One school principal said in her 25 years of education she'd never heard the overhead lights buzzing in an assembly—thats how engaged the girls were!).

Their Future Self also told them a word to remember and here were some of the words they heard:
Love
Dedication
Smile
Persevere
Faith
Strong
Hope
Brave
It's OK

Many girls even HUGGED themselves when we said to hug their Future Selves:):):) It brings tears our eyes (we know we're cheesy, but seriously it was awesome!).

Even in one hour you (yes, you reader!) can reach a girl and together shift the world a bit. The week was truly one of the most rewarding weeks of our lives. From the girls and educators we met (those who work hard every day to empower teens) to the amazing dream team that made it all possible: Special thanks to Bob Lehr, Steph Ford, Bob Ford, and all the CIAC-CAS school officials who so generously donated their time, space, positive energy and dedication! Also big-time thanks to Ama A. and the Dove team. We can't wait for next year!

xoxoCourt&Jen

P.S. Adults and older teens: You can lead a Dove Real Beauty Workshop for Girls. Check out the free materials!

Comments (0) | by Courtney on May 17

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I just met the awesome people behind the new documentary Girls Rock!, which tells the inspiring story of girls who attended the The Rock 'n' Roll Camp for Girls in Portland. At the camp, girls ages 8-18 come from all over the country to learn to rock. The girls form bands, write songs and build community. They bang their heads! Listen to our conversation on KALW's Your Call radio about girl culture and Girls Rock! here.

Please go see the movie (clip below) which opens this weekend! And check out the web site for more screening dates through May. To get inspired, watch the trailer, which, well, rocks! The movie is about the universal struggles girls go through and how the camp is life-changing for this group. (It would be for anyone!) They discover a support network and their strengths. And the girls' creativity and vulnerability just blows me away (as usual!).

What one of the young women, Laura (15), says that just killed me (in a good way). I WANT every girl to make this discovery:

"I've been waiting for so long to finally admit to myself that I'm amazing, and I really am. Everyone is beautiful in their own way and they get even better when they decide to be powerful and they decide to rock."

Girls and girl supporters: check out the rock camps. For example, the Girls Rock! Bay Area is launching this summer and accepting applications through April. The cost is $400 per girl. Financial aid is available to qualifying participants.

Comments (0) | by Courtney on March 7

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This Saturday, 500 girls joined us in Getting REAL at the Jenna Druck Foundation's annual “Spirit of Leadership” Conference. It was one of the most amazing events of our lives! The girls were inspired by the legacy of an amazing young woman Jenna—a passionate leader, great friend and very loved daughter and sister.

The girls came from all over San Diego to confirm something major: That every young woman is ALREADY a leader, and that this world needs every girl to lead in her own way!

We really rocked our interactive keynote thanks to being able to marinate in the brilliance of young women and their advocates (there were more than 100 mentors and wonderful workshop facilitators there, too).

Audrey and I also met so many marvelous young women (hi, girls!). If we could live at that conference, we would! Every girl filled our hearts with her story, vision, goals and strong support for the other girls by her side. At the end of the conference dozens of girls took to the stage to say what they learned (like: to be themselves, to speak up, to not let anything hold them back, that girls and women can DO anything...!). They shared their goals (like: to help children around the world, to travel the world, to lead social change, to go to college, to gradate high school, to make healthy choices, to be anything they want to be...!).

And we know you will do it. And we know you will stay REAL. We love you all and we love the Jenna Druck Foundation--check them out and get involved!

CHECK OUT pics from the event!

Comments (0) | by Courtney on March 4

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• 92% of teen girls would like to change something about the way they look
• 86% of the approx. 10 million American girls and women who suffer from an eating disorder report the onset of their condition by age 20
• Just 2% of women think they’re beautiful
• More than 50% of women between ages 18-25 would rather be run over by a truck than be “fat”

Girls and women: We don’t have to let unrealistic ideals diminish our power. We can get REAL instead.

Check out the Getting REAL workshops for girls, college women and moms. And join our Getting REAL new social network.
Colleges: Book this interactive presentation today in conjunction with your campus’ National Eating Disorders Awareness Week or V-Day programs in 2008.

Comments (0) | by Courtney on March 1

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Check out the article Gossip Girls (page 234) in the March issue of Teen Vogue. I dish some advice about why we gossip and how to give it up!

Comments (0) | by Courtney on February 13

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Hey girls (and girl advocates)! I wanted to tell you about an amazing summer camp you might want to check out this year. Omega Teen Camp is an empowering and creativity inspiring camp for teens that was founded at the Omega Institute in New York.

I was a guest teacher at the camp last year. During our daily intensives, myself, my assistant teacher (the fabulous Rachel Myrowitz) and a group of passionate teen girls talked about our experiences with self-respect, sisterhood and social change. We also did a social change web—a tool developed by the awesome org Girls For A Change! (see example below).

The girls focused on the Issue: Why do so many girls have a negative body image? Next, they looked at the Effects of having a negative body image and the Causes of negative body image. Then they came up with their own three-fold social change project to impact a root cause of the problem (that girls need more support from each other to feel comfortable in their own skin!).

And they did this all by just spending a few hours a day together during one week! The girls:

...created and led a workshop for other girls at the camp so they could talk about body image, why so many girls hate their bodies, and what they can do about it!

...designed "INNER beauty bands" with positive affirmations. They wore the bands to remind them about how valuable they are and that they deserve respect (especially from themselves).

...hung positive affirmation signs throughout the camp with phrases to inspire their fellow campers to see their inner beauty—not just what was in the mirror.

The girls were so creative, caring and motivated to make changes. I think they were so primed to work together because of the supportive and progressive environment at Omega. I've been so inspired by the girls that I've been telling other girls around the country about their project!

Comments (0) | by Courtney on February 12

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As women and girls our lives can become ruled by unrealistic images and ideals—what we call unREAL(ities):

#1 Pressure to compete with our peers, to make the grade and to compare ourselves to others. This pushes us to try to be like everyone else except the REAL us. For example, 74% of girls say they are under pressure to please everyone (Girls Inc.).

#2 Packaging is the focus—from celeb magazines to reality TV and the Web—we're encouraged to invest too much time and attention into our outside appearance and material assets to get attention. This leads to negative body image and an empty feeling inside. We are getting the message that: "you're nobody until everybody on the planet loves your look."

#3 Perfection and narrow ideals of beauty, success and power makes us feel that we aren't good enough and that nothing we do is good enough.

In reality, our REAL potential is limitless and so are the opportunities in life. Let's encourage each other to develop our REAL assets and gifts which are boundless and come from the inside! See the Getting REAL Tour.

Comments (0) | by Courtney on November 8

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Last week I walked into the Santa Clara Convention Center for an event that didn't include the usual fare of high-tech company exhibit booths and Powerpoint keynotes. Rather, I walked into a wave of girl anthem and hip-hop beats and a swarm of hundreds of teen girls who were there to celebrate: themselves.

continues on The Huffington Post...

Comments (0) | by Courtney on May 28

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