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Hey all! I'm Courtney Macavinta, co-author of the best-selling book for teen girls RESPECT and founder of Respect Rx, which is devoted to empowering girls, women and their advocates to boost self-respect, sisterhood and social change in their lives—and our world.
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Bullying + Sexual Harassment, Girls, Quiz, School

Quiz: Flirting or Hurting?

Take a look at the following scenarios. Do they sound like unwanted sexual harassment or harmless flirting? Keep score in your journal and then click the the next page for the answers.

1. During lunch, your crush tells you he likes your outfit.
Harassment or Flirting?

2. A guy tells his friends he’s "gotten some" from you and now they ask for "some of that" when you walk by them, which totally embarrasses you.
Harassment or Flirting?

3. You wear your favorite shirt, which happens to be low-cut, to turn heads at school.
Harassment or Flirting?

4. A teacher who you really admire—and who you might even have a crush on—tells you that he "likes" you too.
Harassment or Flirting?

5. You always try to hug a boy you like at school or send him sexually suggestive notes even though he’s told you he’s not interested.
Harassment or Flirting?

Answers
Nos. 1 and 3: Flirting. When you want sexual or romantic attention from peers, it’s not harassment. Still, if you’re trying to get too much sexual attention at school, think about whether school is the time and the place—and if you're interrupting others' learning experiences. To build your self-respect, always check yourself when it comes to needing a lot of outside attention to feel validated. You want to make sure that you’re taking advantage of the educational opportunities at school to make yourself a strong, smart girl who's a leader. You’re not there just to study up on dating and mating, right?

Nos. 2, 4 and 5: Harassment. If sexual attention, such as comments from other students, makes you uncomfortable or violates school policiy, it’s harassment. If a teacher makes a pass at you or flirts with you—even if you like how it feels—it’s harassment. Sometimes girls admit that when they’re at school, overt sexual attention or even rude comments from other students or adults feels good. Girls say it makes them feel pretty, desirable or noticed. That might be true, but this is the unhealthy way to get validation (a.k.a. confirmation that you're a valuable person). You should be acknowledged in a courteous and respectful way—not through degrading harassment, inappropriate suggestions, cat calls or "hoochie hollas."

If you're being harassed at school, take action.

 

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