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Bullying, the rumor mill and sexual harassment do rule a lot of schools. The latest study by Indiana University surveyed more than 80,000 students throughout the country, and 45 percent of students said they feel unsafe at school.

And 8 out of 10 students say they have experience some form of sexual harassment at school, according to a 2002 report by the American Academy of University Women. Girls are harassed more often than boys with 83 percent saying they have endured sexual comments—including homophobic remarks—teasing, touching or rumors.

Being scared or bullied stands in the way of your education and can lead to depression and low self-worth. Students who experience sexual harassment are more likely to avoid school, talk less during class, and find it hard to pay attention. Here are steps you can take if bullying or harassment has gotten out of control and is making you feel sad, unsafe, or too distracted to get the most out of your education:

1. Know your rights
There are federal and state laws that say it's not cool for you to be harassed, bullied or discriminated against at school:

• Title VI of the Civil Rights Act of 1964 prohibits discrimination based on race, color, or national origin in programs or activities receiving federal money, including schools.

• Title IX of the Education Amendments of 1972 protects all students from unlawful sexual harassment at school and during school-sponsored activities, says girls must have the same opportunities as boys, and requires equal support for girls’ sports.

• The Rehabilitation Act of 1973 and Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA) of 1990 prohibit discrimination against people with disabilities, and require that they receive a quality education and have access to school buildings.

• Sexual and gender identity laws. Less than ten states have laws to protect gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender students from harassment or discrimination in public schools. But arguably, Title IX, hate crime laws and the U.S. Constitution should project you anyway. To learn more, check out the Safe Schools Coalition.

2. Speak up
When people are harassing or bullying you, they usually expect you to keep your mouth shut. When harassers say something lewd or rude, you could ignore them so you’re not giving them the reaction they want (you still can report the harassment, even if it occurred only once). Or you could set a boundary by speaking up.

First, check your gut to decide if it’s safe to stand up to the harasser(s). Make sure you feel secure before you say anything and remember that the goal is to de-escalate a situation, instead of making it worse. Try setting a boundary, like: “I’d like you to stop making fun of me. It hurts my feelings. I’m not sure why you’re doing it—but it’s not cool and it has to stop.” If you’ve already asked her to stop and she continues, give her a warning like, “I’ve already asked you to stop. I’ll have to report you if this happens again.”

If you've got problems with the rumor mill, try this.

3. Get help
If setting a boundary doesn't work, stay strong and report it. Remember, if you don’t stand up to harassment, then you (and other kids) are being hurt not only by the harasser but also by the injustice of the situation.

Before you file a complaint, write down the “four Ws” of the incident(s): who, where, when and what. Even if you’re scared, telling someone what happened is the right thing to do. Create a support network of adults or family members who can help protect you. Tell them what’s going on and how it’s affecting you. Ask for help in filing a complaint with your school. Get to know your school’s sexual harassment policy and complaint process by asking the main office for a copy of the policy.

When a complaint is filed, your school should immediately take steps to stop the harassment and prevent it from happening again (even if you go to a religious or private school with no policy, you still have a right to feel safe). If you don’t want your name to be used, find out if your complaint can be kept confidential before you give any details.
Know what’s being done.

4. Don't give up
If speaking up and filing a complaint with various school officials hasn’t helped, don’t give up. Instead, call in the government. You can file a complaint with the U.S. Department of Education: Office for Civil Rights (OCR), which enforces certain laws at your school. Also, contact the National Women’s Law Center for advice about how you can take action.

More Info >
Indiana University study
Hostile Hallways (AAUW report)
Help!
RESPECT Chapters 11 and 12

Adapted from Respect: A Girl’s Guide to Getting Respect and Dealing When Your Line Is Crossed by Courtney Macavinta and Andrea Vander Pluym © 2005. Used with permission of Free Spirit Publishing Inc., Minneapolis, MN; 1-866-703-7322; www.freespirit.com. All rights reserved.

Comments (0) | by Courtney on May 9

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