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Abuse + Harm + Violence, Girls

Chris Brown and Rihanna: It's Not Just Drama

Hot Topic

Chris Brown and Rihanna's case have made dating violence a big story again. It's a good time to make sure every girl, boy, man and women understand the cycle of violence.

Dating violence is not spicy passion or drama. It's violence. Whether it's heated, mean words, threats, intimidation or a punch to the face. It's violence. And violence hurts the victim and abuser. And it creates a long line of hurt in our hearts, families and communities.

I've mentioned this before on Respect Rx: My first memory in life is of my mom getting a severe beating from my dad. Both my parents were victims of child abuse. Both were caught up in the cycle of violence for a very long time. It rocked our family and held everyone back in one way or another. (I talk about it here in this video.)

Domestic violence weakens us all. It's hard to know that it is happening some times and how to stop it. It comes up all the time when we are working with girls and women at Respect Rallies or retreats. 1 in 5 teens who have been in a serious relationship report being hit, slapped or pushed by a partner. That's why I want you all to at least know what the cycle of violence is.

The cycle of violence goes something like this:
Tension builds and the abuser is verbally abusive ->
The abuser explodes and beats you up or commits rape ->
They abuser say he/she feels bad, are sorry or even buys you presents ->
You are afraid to leave or beaten down emotionally and stay ->
It starts all over again…Kids who witness the violence may become abusers or victims too.

If you need help right now:
Please call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or check out their website.

Love is Not Abuse is another helpful site.

Also, please check out:
Pages 143-151 in RESPECT. We cover the whole range there and offer resources and journal exercises.

More tips and help:
Abuse, Violence, Self-Harm

Whether you are the victim or abuser, you need help. Please reach out. Including to me.

 

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<< Previous: Pennsylvania and Texas Conferences for Women | Next:4 More Domestic Violence Awareness Month Resources >>