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Hey all! I'm Courtney Macavinta, co-author of the best-selling book for teen girls RESPECT and founder of Respect Rx, which is devoted to empowering girls, women and their advocates to boost self-respect, sisterhood and social change in their lives—and our world.
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Boundaries, Self-Defense

How To Say No (Audio)

Yelling with power when you’re feeling threatened by someone isn’t about screaming or raising the pitch of your voice like a desperate victim in a horror movie. Listen to these audio clips to learn how to say NO! with power.

Have you ever heard the way that military officers speak during drills (in real life or in the movies)? Your goal is to yell “NO!” with that kind of power but with a little less “bark.” Think of it like singing opera or cheerleading: You need to yell from your diaphragm—your gut—not from the top of your throat, so you sound forceful and commanding.

To practice, yell “NO!” seriously, loudly, and with conviction. Do it as loud and strong as you can, until you scare yourself or someone in the other room with your assertiveness. (Just warn your family ahead of time that you’re practicing and not being attacked for real.) Here are some examples of what a strong “No!” sounds like, as well as some other important boundaries:

NO!

I said NO!

Leave me alone!

Back off!

If the person persists, yell to alert other people to the situation:

I don't know this man!

This person is bothering me!

This girl is threatening me!


Audio performed by Andrea Vander Pluym, teen self-defense instructor and co-author of RESPECT. Illustration by Catherine LePage © Free Spirit Publishing Inc. 2005.

 

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