Respect Rx - Making Healthy Choices

Hey sistahs! I'm co-author of the best-selling book for teen girls RESPECT. Respect Rx, is my blog for girls, parents, teachers and women. Get the scoop on building self-respect, sisterhood and social change! I also offer workshops and assemblies nationwide. Remember: True respect starts on the inside!

Got a disrespect dilemma?
Click here to get the Rx!

All Made Up: A Girl's Guide to Seeing Through Celebrity Hype and Celebrating Real Beauty by Audrey D. Brashich. A former teen model and magazine writer blows the lid of all that smoke that's been blown up our you-know-whats about what is "beautiful" (and what isn't). She talks about what she's learned about real beauty, how to take back the media, and so-called It Girls (Can you say: Paris Hilton or Linsday Lohan?).
The Price of Privilege: How Parental Pressure and Material Advantage Are Creating a Generation of Disconnected and Unhappy Kids by Dr. Madeline Levine. Find out why some rich kids feel really broke inside. Tips for howparents can be involved while encouraging their kids to be autonomous and to discover their true selves.
Do I Look Fat In This: Life Doesn't Begin Five Pounds from Now by Jessica Weiner. Find out what it really means when we say "I feel fat!" This is a practical (and fun to read) guide that will help you learn to love the skin you're in!
The Real Truth About Teens and Sex by Sabrina Weill. A top editor at major teen magazines for more than a decade, Sabrina talked to thousands of teens about their questions, fears, concerns, and what really goes on at parties, at school, before parents get home from work, online and elsewhere. Plus, parents can learn how they can better support their kids in making good choices.
The Body Project by Joan Jacobs Brumberg. Starting with a statistic that 53 percent of girls are dissatisfied with their bodies, this book looks at the "why?" Brumberg combs through girls' diaries dating from 1830 to the present day and explains why now more than ever girls' main projects are their bodies.
101 Ways to Help Your Daughter Love Her Body by Brenda Lane Richardson and Elane Rehr. Solid advice for parents to help girls build body respect.
Dads and Daughters by Joe Kelly. If your dad isn't spending enough time with you or you just aren't relating, or if you're a dad who wants to help your daughter become strong and confidant, you'll both appreciate this book.
Branded: The Buying and Selling of Teenagers by Alissa Quart. How companies bombard teens with marketing that "saps them of individuality and imagination" to get them to not only buy products, but be products.
GLBTQ: The Survival Guide for Queer and Questioning Teens by Kelly Huegel. Advice, true stories and resources for exploring gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender relationships, dating, and more.
Deal With It! A Whole New Approach to Body, Brain, and Life as a Gurl by Esther Drill, et al. The ultimate guide for all things girls have to deal with, from understanding feelings to sex and how your body is changing. It'll suck you in because it's so cool, straightforward and real. And because it has tons of resource listings and illustrations.
The Beauty Myth by Naomi Wolf. Journalist Naomi Wolf argues that women's insecurities are made worse and then exploited by the cosmetic, diet and plastic surgery industries. And then girls spend all their time obsessing over their looks instead of other important issues, like self-respect.
Don't Give It Away! by Iyanla Vanzant. Ms. Iyanla (a life coach on TV's Starting Over) was a teen mom and high school dropout, and she went through a lot of family traumas and abuse as a child. But today she's helping young women find and keep their power. Girls, learn how to express your thoughts and feelings about what matters to you, and the secrets to loving your oh-so-lovable self from one of the greatest respect role models ever!
33 Things Every Girl Should Know About Women's History edited by Tonya Bolden. Find out how revolutionary women fought for equal rights so you can, too.
Phenomenal Woman by Maya Angelou. Four inspirational and empowering poems about loving the female form.
Perfectionism: What's Bad About Being Too Good? by Miriam Adderholdt & Jan Goldberg. How to figure out if you're a perfectionist, find a better balance so you can accept yourself (and body), and deal with your parents if they are pushing you to be perfect.
Reviving Ophelia by Mary Pipher. Published in 1994, this book is still relevant for its truthful look at the "girl-poisoning" culture that can turn independent-spirited young girls into struggling teens who have low self-worth.
Revolution from Within by Gloria Steinem. Feminist icon Steinem writes about self-worth, the importance of unlearning unhealthy beliefs, knowing the difference between romance and love, and so much more. It's written for women, but girls can handle her straightforward, mature tone--no problem.
Schoolgirls by Peggy Orenstein. Inspired by a national study that shows girls' self-esteem plummeting as they reach adolescence, this book goes inside two different schools in northern California where girls struggle for equal educations, assertiveness and confidence.
Odd Girl Speaks Out by Rachel Simmons. Poems, songs, confessions and essays from girls about in-fighting among girls and how to stop it.
Grassroots: A Field Guide for Feminist Activism by Jennifer Baumgardner & Amy Richards. Learn how to move beyond activism, like donating money and writing to politicians, and how to make a far-reaching impact by organizing your friends, your community and yourself!
To Be Real: Telling the Truth and Changing the Face of Feminism edited by Rebecca Walker. With essays by men and women, this is an exploration of modern-day feminism and its impact on everyday life and the future.
What Are My Rights? by Thomas A. Jacobs. Helps teens answer 95 legal questions about laws related to family, school, workplace, growing up and more.
When Nothing Matters Anymore: A Survival Guide for Depressed Teens by Bev Cobain. A book for teens on how to recognize depression, get help and stay well.

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Body Image + Health, Self-Respect, Sex

Making Healthy Choices

Chalk last week up to one of the most amazing experiences I've ever had! I was invited to La Crosse, Wisconsin by Options Clinic to speak to hundreds of health-care providers, teen educators, guidance counselors, parents and (of course) girls. The topic? How teens can make self-respecting decisions so they can REACH their potential in life. (And that is what this respect stuff is *really* all about!)

All of the events were organized by Options Clinic, a remarkable organization that provides boys, girls, women and men with information, resources and health care services like annual exams and pregnancy and STI (sexually-transmitted infections) testing. Options' name speaks for itself. Most of the time Options Clinic staff are out in the community educating people about their options and how to make healthy choices. And this valuable education is not just about dealing with sexual choices, but any choice.

So the Options team and I are so on the same page! And it was SO fulfilling to partner with Options to empower girls and women throughout their region, and during this month's national campaign to prevent teen pregnancy. (Scroll down to hear to my keynote speech at Options' annual meeting and my Wisconsin Public Radio interviews).

Options Clinic has been open for 34 years and it was really inspiring—an honor—to support its work. In Wisconsin, it's actually illegal for anyone under age 18 to have sex. So even getting into schools to talk about risk factors and how to make self-respecting choices is a major challenge. But Options still makes it happen because they want every person to have a happy, healthy, full life.

We tell girls that getting help is a Respect Basic. So I'm grateful that when they do have questions about relationships and sex that they have a place like Options to go to or call. Or when they do want to avoid unplanned pregnancies or STIs that they get to spend time with the knowledgeable, compassionate Options' nurse practitioners, who I was also honored to meet (some have been there almost 20 years!).

One of the high points of the trip was leading workshops for more than 100 high school and middle school girls. Options made the girls feel so special with gift bags, journals and good eats—and they even got an hour or two off school to come bask themselves in respect (no small feat to plan).

The girls and I talked about how disrespect creeps into our lives, but how true respect starts on the inside. I also heard devastating stories of the kinds of disrespect that girls everywhere are still going through—child abuse, sexual abuse, neglect, eating disorders, cutting (self—mutilation) and other hurtful scenarios that can hold people back for life.

These amazing girls were already fighting for respect in their lives. We talked about how they can keep respecting themselves and doing what's right for them no matter what (i.e. learning and living The 7 Respect Basics). Like believing that they all matter. Knowing they can lean on their sisters. Finding support when they need it. Boosting their respect quota every minute by doing things like: following their passions, trusting their gut, setting boundaries, and talking to themselves with respect.

Here is what one smart, beauteous 14-year-old had to say about the Options-sponsored workshop:

I was one of the girls at your Respect event in La Crosse. I just wanted to tell you that I think you are an amazing woman that made me look at a lot of things differently (for the better!). I'll be honest with you and say that I at first went to your event with my school's guidance counselors to get a free day off of school. As soon as I saw my surroundings, I knew that this was going to be something I wanted to know and listen to. With my experience with events like yours, there was always the beautiful model-like person pretty much saying, "You have to respect yourself, your body and mind." And it just didn't seem so "realistic" coming from someone like that. I saw that you were the author of this book and thought, "Wow, that woman is beautiful, inside and out. I can tell she respects herself including her environment and surroundings and now she's helping other girls to do the same, and that makes her beautiful." The fact that you were so laid back and honest made me comfortable in listening to things being said by you and my peers and it made me comfortable in realizing, life isn't perfect nor is anyone. Everyone has their flaws and that makes us what we are and gives us our own personalities. I just want to simply say thank-you for what you're doing for the female gender today and I hope your wise words, feelings, and outlooks get out to each and every person in the world.

Well if this is not a reason to get up in the morning and keep spreading respect, I don't know what is. The local TV news stations also interviewed girls and many said the whole day made them feel like they were not alone (mission accomplished!). For those of you who have donated books to girls in the past or who support girls in other ways—thank you (we are doing a real GOOD thing!).

You can also be a part of this social change partnership with Options Clinic. Like all nonprofits, they need fiscal support and they are also renovating their super old but well-loved and well-utilized space in order to serve more people. Please contribute whatever you can. We might only be able to talk the talk sometimes, but Options is walking the walk for us everyday. So if you're inclined, please give Options some legs: donate today!

Audio files and press from Options Clinic events
Keynote: Helping girls and women reach their potential (MP3)

Wisconsin Public Radio: Newsmaker interview (MP3)

Katherine Dunn show (WPR) interview: Teens and sexual choices (Real Audio)

La Crosse Tribune: Dealing with Prom Night Pressures

WANT to plan a Respect Day for teens? Click here!

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