Respect Rx - The 7 Respect Basics

Hey sistahs! I'm co-author of the best-selling book for teen girls RESPECT. Respect Rx, is my blog for girls, parents, teachers and women. Get the scoop on building self-respect, sisterhood and social change! I also offer workshops and assemblies nationwide. Remember: True respect starts on the inside!

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All Made Up: A Girl's Guide to Seeing Through Celebrity Hype and Celebrating Real Beauty by Audrey D. Brashich. A former teen model and magazine writer blows the lid of all that smoke that's been blown up our you-know-whats about what is "beautiful" (and what isn't). She talks about what she's learned about real beauty, how to take back the media, and so-called It Girls (Can you say: Paris Hilton or Linsday Lohan?).
The Price of Privilege: How Parental Pressure and Material Advantage Are Creating a Generation of Disconnected and Unhappy Kids by Dr. Madeline Levine. Find out why some rich kids feel really broke inside. Tips for howparents can be involved while encouraging their kids to be autonomous and to discover their true selves.
Do I Look Fat In This: Life Doesn't Begin Five Pounds from Now by Jessica Weiner. Find out what it really means when we say "I feel fat!" This is a practical (and fun to read) guide that will help you learn to love the skin you're in!
The Real Truth About Teens and Sex by Sabrina Weill. A top editor at major teen magazines for more than a decade, Sabrina talked to thousands of teens about their questions, fears, concerns, and what really goes on at parties, at school, before parents get home from work, online and elsewhere. Plus, parents can learn how they can better support their kids in making good choices.
The Body Project by Joan Jacobs Brumberg. Starting with a statistic that 53 percent of girls are dissatisfied with their bodies, this book looks at the "why?" Brumberg combs through girls' diaries dating from 1830 to the present day and explains why now more than ever girls' main projects are their bodies.
101 Ways to Help Your Daughter Love Her Body by Brenda Lane Richardson and Elane Rehr. Solid advice for parents to help girls build body respect.
Dads and Daughters by Joe Kelly. If your dad isn't spending enough time with you or you just aren't relating, or if you're a dad who wants to help your daughter become strong and confidant, you'll both appreciate this book.
Branded: The Buying and Selling of Teenagers by Alissa Quart. How companies bombard teens with marketing that "saps them of individuality and imagination" to get them to not only buy products, but be products.
GLBTQ: The Survival Guide for Queer and Questioning Teens by Kelly Huegel. Advice, true stories and resources for exploring gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender relationships, dating, and more.
Deal With It! A Whole New Approach to Body, Brain, and Life as a Gurl by Esther Drill, et al. The ultimate guide for all things girls have to deal with, from understanding feelings to sex and how your body is changing. It'll suck you in because it's so cool, straightforward and real. And because it has tons of resource listings and illustrations.
The Beauty Myth by Naomi Wolf. Journalist Naomi Wolf argues that women's insecurities are made worse and then exploited by the cosmetic, diet and plastic surgery industries. And then girls spend all their time obsessing over their looks instead of other important issues, like self-respect.
Don't Give It Away! by Iyanla Vanzant. Ms. Iyanla (a life coach on TV's Starting Over) was a teen mom and high school dropout, and she went through a lot of family traumas and abuse as a child. But today she's helping young women find and keep their power. Girls, learn how to express your thoughts and feelings about what matters to you, and the secrets to loving your oh-so-lovable self from one of the greatest respect role models ever!
33 Things Every Girl Should Know About Women's History edited by Tonya Bolden. Find out how revolutionary women fought for equal rights so you can, too.
Phenomenal Woman by Maya Angelou. Four inspirational and empowering poems about loving the female form.
Perfectionism: What's Bad About Being Too Good? by Miriam Adderholdt & Jan Goldberg. How to figure out if you're a perfectionist, find a better balance so you can accept yourself (and body), and deal with your parents if they are pushing you to be perfect.
Reviving Ophelia by Mary Pipher. Published in 1994, this book is still relevant for its truthful look at the "girl-poisoning" culture that can turn independent-spirited young girls into struggling teens who have low self-worth.
Revolution from Within by Gloria Steinem. Feminist icon Steinem writes about self-worth, the importance of unlearning unhealthy beliefs, knowing the difference between romance and love, and so much more. It's written for women, but girls can handle her straightforward, mature tone--no problem.
Schoolgirls by Peggy Orenstein. Inspired by a national study that shows girls' self-esteem plummeting as they reach adolescence, this book goes inside two different schools in northern California where girls struggle for equal educations, assertiveness and confidence.
Odd Girl Speaks Out by Rachel Simmons. Poems, songs, confessions and essays from girls about in-fighting among girls and how to stop it.
Grassroots: A Field Guide for Feminist Activism by Jennifer Baumgardner & Amy Richards. Learn how to move beyond activism, like donating money and writing to politicians, and how to make a far-reaching impact by organizing your friends, your community and yourself!
To Be Real: Telling the Truth and Changing the Face of Feminism edited by Rebecca Walker. With essays by men and women, this is an exploration of modern-day feminism and its impact on everyday life and the future.
What Are My Rights? by Thomas A. Jacobs. Helps teens answer 95 legal questions about laws related to family, school, workplace, growing up and more.
When Nothing Matters Anymore: A Survival Guide for Depressed Teens by Bev Cobain. A book for teens on how to recognize depression, get help and stay well.

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Self-Respect

The 7 Respect Basics

Respect is connected to everything. Your feelings. Your choices. Your body image. Your relationships. Your safety. Your rights. And your future. Sure, getting respect isn't always easy. Sometimes you have to fight for what you want. But that's the secret we all need to learn: Respect is always within reach because true respect starts on the inside. Even in the face of disrespect, you can always take action by learning and living these basics:

1. Having Self-Respect
Knowing you’re more valuable than all the money in the world. Knowing you have a mission in life. Knowing you deserve love—especially from Ms. You. Accepting yourself and seeing your amazing-ness. Finding and following your passions. Taking the time to get to know the real you (now and forever).

2. Listening to Your Gut
Tuning into that voice inside that tells you what you want, and what feels right or wrong. Making choices that pass your gut checks first. Protecting yourself when you feel unsafe. Trusting yourself—even when it means standing apart from the crowd.

3. Setting Boundaries
Exploring your personal beliefs and values. Deciding what’s OK with you, and what’s so not OK with you when it come to how you’re treated or what’s happening around you. Sticking to your boundaries when you need to protect yourself or stand up for what’s right for you. Respecting your needs and saying no when you want to. Making self-respecting choices. Communicating your boundaries to make your relationships stronger—and honoring others’ boundaries too.

4. Speaking Up
Using your voice because your opinions, ideas, needs and feelings matter. Letting your boundaries be known when it makes sense, like speaking up when something doesn’t pass a gut check. Improving your relationships (or protecting yourself when needed) by learning to be assertive versus passive or aggressive. Speaking up in the face of disrespect of yourself or others. Telling your truth.

5. Building Strong Relationships (and Sisterhood)
Investing in creating respectful relationships because it makes you stronger and helps you reach your potential. Learning how to communicate respectfully. Understanding that you are not alone. Treating others how you want to be treated. Creating sisterhood in your life—accepting other girls and women for who they are, valuing them, supporting them and leaning on them. Believing that if other women are successful, you are successful (and if they are disrespected, you are disrespected).

6. Fighting for Equality
Understanding that you have certain fundamental rights. Respecting others’ rights. Believing that all human beings are created equal. Never believing that you are less than others or above them. Fighting for your rights and against injustice. Leading social change to spread respect for all.

7. Getting Help
Taking care of yourself by getting help when you need it. Asking for support when you are hurting, disrespected, afraid or just don’t know how to do something yet. Seeking help when you need to make changes in your life or to build up your self-respect. Finding supportive resources and environments when you need to heal or want to grow. Knowing that getting help isn’t a sign of weakness but proof of your strength.

To learn all about the The 7 Respect Basics, check out RESPECT, "Chapter 1: What Respect Means to You." In the book, you'll find tons of tips for how to speak up, stay in touch with your gut, and spread respect!

Adapted from Respect: A Girl’s Guide to Getting Respect and Dealing When Your Line Is Crossed by Courtney Macavinta and Andrea Vander Pluym © 2005. Used with permission of Free Spirit Publishing Inc., Minneapolis, MN; 1-866-703-7322; www.freespirit.com. All rights reserved. Illustration by Catherine LePage © Free Spirit Publishing Inc. 2005

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