• About
• Press
• Programs + Speaking
• Events
• Blogs
• Books
• Tools
• Coaching + Training
• Shop
• Contact

Respect is connected to everything. Your feelings. Your choices. Your body image. Your relationships. Your safety. Your rights. And your future. Sure, getting respect isn't always easy. Sometimes you have to fight for what you want. But that's the secret we all need to learn: Respect is always within reach because true respect starts on the inside. Even in the face of disrespect, you can always take action by learning and living these basics:

1. Having Self-Respect
Knowing you’re more valuable than all the money in the world. Knowing you have a mission in life. Knowing you deserve love—especially from Ms. You. Accepting yourself and seeing your amazing-ness. Finding and following your passions. Taking the time to get to know the real you (now and forever).

2. Listening to Your Gut
Tuning into that voice inside that tells you what you want, and what feels right or wrong. Making choices that pass your gut checks first. Protecting yourself when you feel unsafe. Trusting yourself—even when it means standing apart from the crowd.

3. Setting Boundaries
Exploring your personal beliefs and values. Deciding what’s OK with you, and what’s so not OK with you when it come to how you’re treated or what’s happening around you. Sticking to your boundaries when you need to protect yourself or stand up for what’s right for you. Respecting your needs and saying no when you want to. Making self-respecting choices. Communicating your boundaries to make your relationships stronger—and honoring others’ boundaries too.

4. Speaking Up
Using your voice because your opinions, ideas, needs and feelings matter. Letting your boundaries be known when it makes sense, like speaking up when something doesn’t pass a gut check. Improving your relationships (or protecting yourself when needed) by learning to be assertive versus passive or aggressive. Speaking up in the face of disrespect of yourself or others. Telling your truth.

5. Building Strong Relationships (and Sisterhood)
Investing in creating respectful relationships because it makes you stronger and helps you reach your potential. Learning how to communicate respectfully. Understanding that you are not alone. Treating others how you want to be treated. Creating sisterhood in your life—accepting other girls and women for who they are, valuing them, supporting them and leaning on them. Believing that if other women are successful, you are successful (and if they are disrespected, you are disrespected).

6. Fighting for Equality
Understanding that you have certain fundamental rights. Respecting others’ rights. Believing that all human beings are created equal. Never believing that you are less than others or above them. Fighting for your rights and against injustice. Leading social change to spread respect for all.

7. Getting Help
Taking care of yourself by getting help when you need it. Asking for support when you are hurting, disrespected, afraid or just don’t know how to do something yet. Seeking help when you need to make changes in your life or to build up your self-respect. Finding supportive resources and environments when you need to heal or want to grow. Knowing that getting help isn’t a sign of weakness but proof of your strength.

To learn all about the The 7 Respect Basics, check out RESPECT, "Chapter 1: What Respect Means to You." In the book, you'll find tons of tips for how to speak up, stay in touch with your gut, and spread respect!

Adapted from Respect: A Girl’s Guide to Getting Respect and Dealing When Your Line Is Crossed by Courtney Macavinta and Andrea Vander Pluym © 2005. Used with permission of Free Spirit Publishing Inc., Minneapolis, MN; 1-866-703-7322; www.freespirit.com. All rights reserved. Illustration by Catherine LePage © Free Spirit Publishing Inc. 2005

Comments (0) | by Courtney on January 31

email to a friend | link to this article

email this entry to a friend