about Respect Rx

Hey all! I'm Courtney Macavinta, co-author of the best-selling book for teen girls RESPECT and founder of Respect Rx, which is devoted to empowering girls, women and their advocates to boost self-respect, sisterhood and social change in their lives—and our world.
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Women

 
Advocates, Courtney's Blog, Girls, Social Change + Activism, Women

Yep, You're a Leader

I've been working on two major leadership thing-ies:

1. The Girl Scouts USA uniquely ME! Leadership Institute (which I'm facilitating July 7-11 in Atlanta). I've been reading through the girls' applications. And, well, if you want to have a good cry while your heart fills with hope and admiration for your fellow girls (and our future leaders), come on over to my house and have a read!

2. Respect Rx. We're taking steps every day, every minute to create powerful event programs and trainings for girls and women and their advocates. We're growing rapidly thanks to the Jens* and other amazing women like our new accounting guru who doubles as a passionate high school music teacher. And thanks to my coach Sharna Fey. And thanks to the supportive coaches I train with at The Coaches Training Institute. This leadership stuff takes a village, people! As it should.

It got me thinking about what kind of leader do I want to be? What kinda leader am I already? I believe we all lead. The question is: What are we leading ourselves and others toward?

When it comes to what kinda leader you want to be, you don't have to copy archetypes you've seen in action: Trump, Bush, Gates, your current boss, your current principal, your mom:). That said, high-profile-role-model pickings can be slim if you want to learn from someone who has walked your walk. Women account for only 2.6% of the Fortune 500 CEOs and 16.4% of Congress members. And of those Congresswomen, only 20 women are women of color.

That said, to me, a leader doesn't have a fancy title and the paycheck to go with it or be elected or be able to pass me toilet paper under the bathroom stall because we share the same gender. You don't need someone exactly like you who came before you to pave the way for you to lead (not that it doesn't help!). At the end of the day, we all are already leaders. And if you feel you don't fit the so-called mold or don't know how to break it, then paste this quote Sharna sent me next to your bathroom mirror:

Everybody can be great...because anybody can serve. You don't have to have a college degree to serve. You don't have to make your subject and verb agree to serve. You only need a heart full of grace. A soul generated by love. —Martin Luther King, Jr.

This week's Juicy Question: What kind of a leader are you? And what are you leading yourself and others to**?

*This is not a new rock band:) Jen Jones and Jen Davidson and Jen Uribe are on Team Respect Rx.
**Hey, MLK said it's OK for me to end a sentence with a preposition.

 
Sex, Women

He Used Me For Sex

Dilemma

I dated a guy for about 8 months. When he was over the sex, he basically dumped me. He never wanted to commit to being my boyfriend either, but was happy to hook up. He moved on like a week later to another woman and even tried to push me off on his friend. I thought he would never disrespect me like he did and that's why it hurts. ~Simone, 20

Rx: Of course it hurts. (Uh, that part about pushing you on his friend is particularly shady). I would feel bad in this scenario too—and have been there believe me! So give yourself space to work through feeling let down. If you can swing it to stay solo during this time that will probably give you even more clarity. Then try these steps:

No. 1: Think about what respect means to you. And that means thinking about your Respect Relationship Rules. Complete these sentences:
• Disrespectful behavior in a relationship includes...
• I show respect for my BF/GF by...
• Being in a relationship gives me...
• Some deal-breakers and boundaries for me are...
• Before I get naked:) with someone, I want...

You get the picture! And don't include the word "don't" in the list. Just stick to what you want.

No. 2: Make it all about you. Relationships aren't just about making it work with someone. It's about what you bring to the table too. So focus on you. Especially when you're recovering from a less-than-stellar relationship. Now write your big "wants." What kind of life are you going for here? What kind of woman do you want to be? What is the secret to your true fulfillment? Nothing is too big to make the list. Write at least 10 wants. Make it 20 if you want to get yourself really fired up.
• I want to...

No. 3: Take action one step at a time. Now pick at least one want, and write one action you can do in the next week to move it forward. Pick a new want each week and keep the threads going on the ones you've kick-started. Notice if you haven't been going after your big wants when you were dealing with Mr. Disrespect-o. It's so easy to get focused on someone else and not ourselves. The bottom line: Invest spending your time in doing positive things for yourself. Look at that "want" list and then put your energies into that stuff. It's OK if attracting Mr. "Respects Me Big Time" is on the list too. I hope he is!

The stronger and more self-respecting we get, the healthier our relationships get. The interesting—Self-RESPECTING—people will follow and fit into to our life where it makes sense. It's all about doing our THING so the world can be a better place because we are blossoming (in a good way!) one day at a time. And when it comes to adding more respect to your sex life, also check out these 7 questions. (They're written to girls but they can work for us too!)

 
respectrx
Advocates, Body Image + Health, Girls, Women

Perfect Girls, Starving Daughters

My friend and body image expert Jess Weiner reminded me that Feb. 24 starts National Eating Disorders Awareness Week so I'm *finally* posting about one of my favorite books of 2007. Perfect Girls, Starving Daughters: The Frightening New Normalcy of Hating Your Body by Courtney E. Martin. This book is required reading for girls and those who care about girls and all the women who were girls once:). Here Courtney and I talk about the book and the "new normal" that we can work to change for girls and for ourselves:

Respect Rx: What can girl advocate or parents do—small or big things—to counteract the "new normal" of girls hating their bodies?
Courtney E. Martin: The most important thing that a girl advocate or parent can do is heal their relationships with their own bodies. So many adults, mothers in particular, become paralyzed trying to figure out the perfect thing to say to their daughters. In truth, the most powerful thing they can communicate is through their own modeling.

What can a girl do to change the tide when body hatred/diets/exercise/fat talk is ALL her friends talk about?
One of the most important lessons I learned in college was that I had to choose my friends just like I chose my classes. This means sometimes taking the embarrassing step of approaching a "friend crush" and telling her how amazing you think she is. Some of my closest friends were women that I did this with and I have never regretted it, no matter how dorky it seemed at the time. You don't have to hang out with toxic people, and most of the time, it is treacherously difficult to change them.

I loved your discussion of "spiritual hunger" and have seen this firsthand. In what ways can girls and women start to truly "fill up" to reach our potential?
I think women need to be still, give themselves time to reflect, read philosophy and spiritual texts, really take the space necessary to contemplate on the idea of "the good life." It is an age-old quest, but one that we have gotten further and further away from the more appearance and consumer focused we become and the faster we move.

In your mind, what could girls and women being doing instead with all the power and time we spend thinking about our bodies? In other words, what kind of impact could we have if this weren't often our main focus?
There's no doubt in my mind that if women harnessed all the energy they now put into their body projects and used it for good, the whole damn world would be changed forever. And perhaps even more important, women's quality of life would simply skyrocket. We deserve to live our best lives, and as long as we are body-focused, we will never be able to do that.

What is the one thing you do every day that supports you in NOT hating your body but appreciating yourself and fulfilling your mission?
I check in with my body and respect its wisdom. If I'm sitting at the computer too long and my back starts stiffening, I remember to honor that, get up, take a walk around the block or get a snack. Simply valuing my body's wisdom in a million little ways is the biggest revolution for me.

Buy the book here. And check out more resources and reads here. Break the perfect mold here. Get REAL here.

 
respectrx
Abuse + Harm + Violence, Relationships, Women

My Husband Puts Me Down

Dilemma

My husband joined me in my business recently, and seems bent on proving to me that he is competent to run the business now and I am not. He cuts me down at nearly every opportunity and treats me with disrespect in so many subtle ways! I am losing confidence. What to do?

Rx: First, the good news: You already know you deserve better which is a Respect Basic. You know that what your husband is doing is disrespectful and you know your self-respect is on the line. Here are some steps you can take to speak up and make some changes:

Set some boundaries. Mixing business with marriage is never easy. But under all of our roofs—whether we live with roommates, partners, or other family members—we often have to cooperate to pay the bills, make dinner, clean the house, solve problems and plan for tomorrow. To protect your self-respect, for starters, think/journal about how you feel about your husband’s treatment. Also list the boundaries you want to set with him. Start with major disrespect dilemmas at the top of the list (like when he puts you down) and work down the list to the business issues (like what is the clear division of responsibilities going to be at the office?).

Speak up. Next, when you're ready, tell him how his treatment is making you feel [“(I feel (blank) when you (blank) and I want (blank to change in the following ways)”]. You might need more support from a therapist before you can draw the line—especially if underneath it all you feel unsafe around him. You might want to practice what you’ll say by writing it down in your journal. If your husband is someone you can work with on this, come up with mutually agreed upon terms for how you’ll cooperate in the future on the business front. This is easier said than done, I know. So you might also consider going to a marriage counselor who can help you work through these issues together (If he’s acting this way now, is it safe to say some of this behavior was going on before you became co-workers?).

Dig deep. In my own life, I’ve found that not dealing with my stuff (like growing up with family addicts and all the awesome;) stuff that comes along with that sich) messed with my “business” on the homefront. I could be controlling and critical and fearful on the drop of a dime. I needed to get help before I could create more respect in my heart and marriage (for me this has shaped up as therapy and support groups like Al-Anon and lots of open converations with people from my friends to my husband—I’m still working it, believe me!). Are there any Big Hurts that need your attention? E.g. the verbal abuse (and that's what I consider put-downs of any sort) from your husband is something I’d encourage you to get help around asap. Also, think about the consequences if things don’t change on the major issues, like [“If working together is going to cause all this stress on our relationship, and things don’t change, then maybe we shouldn’t work together...”].

Take care of you. In the meantime, each and every day take care of yourself (eat, sleep, have quiet time, walk). Focus on and soak in your passions—this builds your confidence, self-respect and resilience during hard times like these. Lastly, reach out to your sisters. Sisterhood is another respect basic and for good reason: When you are diminished, I am diminished. When you are successful, I am successful. Don’t be embarrassed to go to your girlfriends for shoulders to lean on and ears to bend. You’ll be surprised to learn how they struggle too, and that they will listen with open hearts. If you don’t have close friends, put this high on your list of things to do for you. Take a risk and start creating strong relationships (another basic) and speaking up with your friends about what’s really going on with you (yet another basic). We all need support on the path to respect—and that need never goes away.

 
respectrx
Friends + Sisterhood, Self-Respect + Self-Esteem, Women

All This and Brains Too

Hot Topic

A growing number of young women today are in a constant identity struggle to be viewed as both the hot, desired girl as well as the successful, independent woman, according to a recent study conducted in the U.S. and Canada by global market-research firm Synovate.

Rx: This is exactly what girls told us when we were writing RESPECT, and a struggle we point to again and again in the book. Girls are told they can be anything they want to be. BUT to be “successful” “liked” “wanted” they are also given constant prescriptions about how to package themselves (mostly as objects of desire and the picture of perfection). This mixed message—expectation—does one thing: It distracts young women from living a passion-filled life and reaching their true potential. Am I right, girls?

This latest study of women aged 16 to 25 found they are stressing about the following stuff:

70% said they are not happy with their body.

38% said that they would get plastic surgery if they had the money.

61% said that their biggest fear is not finding a career they love.

69% feel it is important that they make a lot of money when they are older.

39% believe they are growing up too fast.

The report goes on to say:

The need to be attractive through external reinforcement from peers and society is in constant struggle with the need to feel competent and independent through self/internal reinforcement.

Surprisingly, being young doesn't have the same appeal to these women as it used to. The high levels of stress young women are facing in their twenties is causing the majority of them to actually look forward to their thirties in the hopes that they will have what they want out of life by then.

This intense need to live a perfect life can also destroy their ability to accept failure.

I find it promising that some young women look forward to being 30-something and hopefully being old enough to know better. So what do we want young women to know? And what do we big sisters need to show? I say this:

* Organizing your entire life, thoughts, spending, goals, and dreams around maintaining a certain body or beauty ideal weakens girl power. As investments go, over time this strategy will leave you feeling bankrupt and ripped off.

* Real fulfillment comes from: Caring about yourself. Appreciating your uniqueness. Respecting your needs. Exploring your passions. Helping others. Contributing. Questioning anything that doesn’t feel right. Believing in and supporting other women. Learning from rejection and mistakes and moving on. Not seeing yourself as above or below anyone else. Knowing you’re here, you’re special, and you’re in charge of your experience and choices. Doing what you know you should do.

* Getting help is a good thing. When you’re worried about the future, how to succeed, or are struggling with your body image and self-care—ask for help. Talk to a big sister, mentor, mom, aunt, boss, teacher. Call a hotline if you’re really hurting. We’ve all been there. Nobody does this life thing alone. The key to success for any woman? Full-tilt sisterhood.

* Tell the truth. To compete with each other is to lie to each other. We keep up false impressions. We hide who we really are. We buy things we can’t afford. We act smarter than each other. We pretend we don’t bleed. For girls and women to reach their potential, we need to be free to be who we really are. We need to be OK with not being perfect and not being 100% together all the time. Instead of making each other feel inadequate (subtly or not), let’s show and tell each other the REAL truth: We all have what we need on the inside—creativity, love, resourcefulness, strength, peace, confidence, empathy, super-sonic intelligence, and a mission in life. Trust me, it’s true.

 
respectrx
Journaling, Women

Do You Ask For What You Want?

After talking to a few women lately about how to ask for better pay or how to tell their partners their truth about one thing or another—it got me thinking about my latest post for women.

The question is: Do you ask you for what you *really* want?

I don't mean: "I'll have a turkey sandwich, hold the mayo." Or snapping at your partner: "Can you please take out the trash?" I mean when it comes to your dreams, rights, needs, or those perpetual boundary-crossers in your life—do you ask for what you want?

I think the difference between having booming self-respect, versus being resentful/off-track/held back or standing for disrespect in your life, often comes down to what you ask for. Don’t get me wrong, this is not a call for the demanding divas of the world to unite and for the claws to come out. There's a lot of confusion among girls and women right now between what it means to ask for what you want, and being high-maintenance (Thanks J-Lo, Paris and The Real Housewives of Orange County!).

To ask for want you want is to say: You're worthy and you know your worth. You are not invisible. You know who you are and you are oh-so-special (like everyone else on the planet). You have a mission in life to fulfill (so outta your way, already). You don't need someone else to tell you this stuff—you get it—but still, you have some requests from time to time. And you just have to ask...

I'm trying to appeal to the always-nice girl in you who feels like a constant imposter or just lucky to get a bone (or second-hand bone chip): Yes, she needs to ask for what she wants. Here's where I'll get a bit daytime-TV on you. But truly, you need to look at the woman in the mirror ask yourself:

• What is my vision for my life?
• What is my passion-purpose?
• What really matters to me?
• What's missing from my life?
• What do I WANT?
• OK, so who's standing in my way? (I think you know her…)

When you're faced with an opportunity or a spot on that team or a chance to grab that brass ring or a big fat risk that's worth the reward or the option just to make yourself uncontrollably happy, are you going to settle for: What does [insert that biting voice in your head that says you're not good enough] think I deserve?

Oh, I hope you won't listen to that naysayer. She NEVER gets what she wants.

Instead, ask for what you want. Ask yourself for all those juicy little things you ever wanted. Ask for full-blown permission to be yourself. Ask for all those giganctico dreams you want to live out. Ask yourself to love your body and whole entire you. ASK. And say YES.

Then please do branch out from there to asking for what you want (by way of support or changing your life and world for the better) from your loves, family, employer, Congresswoman, and fellow (wo)man...And if you ask, and the answer is No, go around the corner and ask someone else.

Even better, just say YES to yourself. The results/goodies/rewards/love/acknowledgement/respect you want will show up if your request is from the heart and harmless to others. In other words, you can sprinkle your own magic fairy dust on yourself. Just say Yes and ride off into the sunset already.

Asking for what I want has never failed me. But I have, at times, failed to ask. Have you?

What do want right now that you're not asking for? Or how do you ask for what you want? POST your comment below and enter to WIN a Respect T-shirt!
 
respectrx
Body Image + Health, Girls, Women

Jessica Weiner

Hey everyone it's Fat-Free Friday! As we cap off National Eating Disorders Awareness Week, take action by trying to stop speaking in the Language of Fat. Jessica Weiner, a NEDA ambassador and the author of Do I Look Fat in This?, says this means saying NO to:

• calling yourself or others fat.
• thinking in terms of weight, diet, food and fat.
• idealizing unrealistic imagery in the media.
• saying "Do I look fat In this?"

Read my interview with Jess and find how to WIN a free copy of her book here:

Q. What are girls and women really saying when we say "I feel fat!"?
Jessica: As girls in our culture we're often taught to be in competition and look at ourselves as enemies vs. friends. And we're taught to be in competition with our bodies and to try and look better than each other. At the same time, it's easy for us to bond over the size of our butt, thighs or bellies. Why? Because it's easier to try and control those things vs. why someone doesn't like us, or why our relationship isn't working our, or why we're frustrated with our family.

Q. If our friends or family are always talking about their weight and "being fat," how can we take action?
If you stop speaking the Language of Fat, it plants a seed that tells the girls in your life that it's not OK to talk like this. It's rewarding when you create a fat-free talk zone. You can love each other and not bond over your dislike of your bodies.

If you're hanging out with friends, mom or grandma and they're talking the Language of Fat, speak up. Try saying, "Fat is not really a feeling. What's really going on?" You don't have to try to change them, but speak up for you—silence equals consent.

Also, watch your own body talk, and watch the media you absorb. Monitor your thoughts so you're not buying into the hype. It sends a strong message when someone likes the skin they're in and cares about themselves. To be a role model, start with yourself.

Q. If girls and women stop talking the Language of Fat then what can we talk about instead?
Talk about your feelings before you talk about fat. Did you see a great movie lately? Don't just talk about how pretty the actress was, but what the movie had to say or how it made you feel. Talk about what makes you you. Do you love soccer? How do you feel about how girls are being treated around the world?

It's easier to go into a bathroom at school and talk about how ugly you feel vs. how poorly you did on a test. It can be more vulnerable to put yourself out there and talk about your real feelings or problems. But friendships are about being real and honest. We crave that and sometimes settle for the fat talk because it's the easy way out.

It wouldn't be real or fair to say I don’t have these thoughts sometimes, too. I'm still a girl in the world. What we can all do is try make sure our friendships are of substance and that we treat ourselves with loving words and action.

More Info>
• Read the Your Body and Your Media IQ chapters in RESPECT
Try this!
• Get Help!
• RESPECT is a part of Dove's Real Beauty Book Club. Submit your review here!

Want to WIN a copy of Jessica's book? SUBMIT a comment below and tell me how you respect your body here or your fat-free talk story! Five readers will get a copy of the book and winning entries will be posted on Respect Rx.

 
respectrx
Body Image + Health, Girls, Women

Do I Look Fat in This?

Back in the day, I frantically cut off the bottoms of my knee socks to fashion myself some homemade leg warmers so that I could try to lose weight doing one of those morning workout shows. I "felt" fat and like I needed to get rid of my affliction. My poor mom, she was afflicted too. Like other women, she was on the cabbage soup diet or NutriSystem or these B-12 shots her doctor used to give her to go with her boiled chicken breasts. And like many young women marinating in this don't-eat-or-be-eaten culture, I started using the number on the scale as the main yardstick to measure whether I was worth a damn. The thing is, when I say young woman, I mean I was pretty young—a third-grade student to be exact.

This is the kind of story National Eating Disorders Awareness Week aims to help girls and women rewrite. And my friend Jessica Weiner, an ambassador for NEDA, offers a place for us to start in her new book, Do I Look Fat in This?

Jess' book is an action-oriented guide to deciphering the second language that most women on the planet speak: The Language of Fat. She points out (accurately) that fat is not a feeling (though we often seem to chalk it up that way). For the sake of our self-respect—and to meet our true potential in life—she wants us to not only name our real feelings but to stop spending all our mobile minutes fat-talking.

You know what I mean. Do you and your girlfriends always seem to circle back to talking about your behinds, points, or South Beach (and I'm *not* talking about Miami). I've heard women who can't stop talking with alarm about how large their tummies are getting. And these precious, amazing beauties are pregnant! Jess' book made me *feel* how much it actually hurts when *myself* and other women still use those dusty old yardsticks (scale, inches, dress size) to measure our worth. Talk about fuzzy math.

I've been weaning off fat-talk for some time now (starting when we wrote RESPECT). I mean when I saw the legacy being passed on to bright young girls (like studies in which they say they'd rather lose their arms than be fat!), I became determined that we could all talk about more impassioned topics. The economy, disaster relief, war, employment law, after-school programs, world peace, or the horror of Super Sweet 16, anyone?

However, in honor of NEDA Week, I'm committed to cleaning up my language—for good. In addition to actually treating my body (my home) with extra loving respect this week, I'm going to acknowledge my sisters (and self) based on more solid metrics: Like what a great mom you are. Your hard-working drive. Your big brain. Your big heart. Your big ears (because you're such a good listener). Your crazy-life juggling skills. Your problem-solving chops. Your genius insights. Your pure existence.

If you can't go on a total fat-talk fast this week, try this: When you have the urge to use the word "fat" or "pounds" or "weight," instead replace it with the word "smart." Like:
I feel SO smart.
How many smart grams does that have?
Do I look smart in this?
Mmmm, that dessert looks so smartening.
I can't believe how smart I am getting!
I can't eat another bite or I'll get smart. (Oh, in that case you should have seconds!).
No one loves me because I'm too smart. (Not likely)
I'll do that when I lose some smarts. (Unless you mean playing on the freeway, just go for it!)
I lost five smarts. (Hurry, get them back.)
You look great, have you lost some smarts? (GAWD, you'd never actually say that to a friend, right?)
I'm so over-smart. (That can't possibly be a bad thing).

All right women of the world, when it comes to our bodies (our selves), let's try harder to love the one we're with. And if you need more support in building your body respect (or know someone who does), check out the Help! section for more resources.

 
respectrx
Advocates, Self-Respect + Self-Esteem, Women

The F-Word

This might feel impossible to believe sometimes, but when people have disrespected you—even in the worst way—you still have tons of power. Why? Because respect is always within reach because true respect starts on the inside. You also have the power to use the F-word.

As in, forgiveness.

Here's the deal: When someone is awful or abusive, many girls say that they stay angry—for a really long time (I've been there!). Some women say they are still angry about what happened to them 5, 10, 20 or 40 years ago. And that anger isn't hurting the person(s) who disrespected us. When you stay angry with people, you're the one who feels it and suffers—not them! And when you're PO'd all the time (even when it's totally justified) it can block you from meeting your potential because you feel like a victim or want revenge or just can't stop thinking about it.

But you don't want to let those people or events keep running your life or busting up your self-respect, right? No way. To break this cycle (which is like violence in your heart and mind), start by getting help. No matter what's happened, there are people who care about you, who can support you, and who can help you heal even the deepest wound.

Then when you're ready, consider forgiveness. Now forgiving doesn't mean forgetting or excusing or becoming friends again. To forgive means to let go of the anger (a.k.a. resentment) you're holding. For example, many victims of really terrible crimes (or family members of victims) say forgiveness helps them keep healing their pain everyday. Without forgiveness, they find it hard to even think about anything but the crime.

So how do you forgive?

Think about a time when you blew it and hurt someone or yourself. Unfortunately, it feels like I have millions of these examples: I was rude to my mom. I gossiped about someone and she found out. I was really mean to a girl in school. I was short with my sweetie. I called myself a name. I made the same "mistake" for the 100th time.

When you feel like you messed up, are you hard on yourself? Do you still think you're a jerk months and months later? Do you talk down to yourself? Or even worse, do you keep disrespecting yourself and others the same way you did when this whole so-angry-at-yourself torture started?

Now that you know all about The 7 Respect Basics and Your Rights, then you understand than when we disrespect ourselves and others it's because we're not feelin' the love (or respect)—from the inside and outside. Bouncing back from so-called mistakes, learning from them and forgiving yourself is a big part of being self-respecting. Forgiveness is also the secret ingredient to bringing about peace (in you, your home, your life and around the world).

So start by having compassion for yourself. You deserve it. When disrespect has taken over, think about what you learned, why you made certain choices, and what you want to do differently in the future. Apologize to you, and start to move on (because when we don't forgive we get so super stuck!).

When you've practiced forgiving yourself, then try it out on others. Let's say someone has been downright dirty to you, can you forgive? Think about what could be going down that would lead the person to acting so disrespectful or abusive. Like, is he being treated that way home? Does she hate herself or abuse herself? Has he/she been abused by someone else? Did he get pushed around for years and is now on the defensive? If it's not possible to drum up compassion, then try the next step...

Even if the person has acted like your worst enemy, think about what your anger is doing to you. You don’t have to forgive the person in person. (Hey, I don't want to see people who did bad stuff to me—especially if they're not sorry. I need my boundaries.). But you can forgive in your heart.

When it comes to using the F-word, just remember, you're in charge of you. Even when people don't forgive you, instead of feeling bad forever and ever, you can forgive them for not forgiving you (ha!). People say the truth will set you free? Well, so can forgiveness.

More Info >
Quotes on forgiveness | RESPECT Chapter 2: Learn From Mistakes


llustration by Catherine LePage © Free Spirit Publishing Inc. 2005

 
respectrx
Advocates, Girls, Self-Respect + Self-Esteem, Women

Your Rights

Here's something I learned and live to tell you: Respect is your birthright! It's connected to everything from how you treat yourself, to the choices you make, to who you are and will become. And no matter what you're going through—like dealing with your feelings and body image, family, friends, BFs/GFs, and disrespect dilemmas like sexual harassment or abuse—respect is always the remedy. So how do you get the respect you deserve? It starts by knowing your rights.

You have a RIGHT to:

• Feel like you belong and are an equal

• Figure out what you need and take care of yourself

• Listen to your true feelings

• Speak your mind, change your mind, and question the world around you

• Be different from your family, your friends, and media ideals and images

• Feel and be safe

• Become independent

• Follow your passions and be the real you

Ready to claim your rights? Check out RESPECT to learn all about how getting respect—and fighting disrespect—can change your life forever (in a really good way).

Adapted from Respect: A Girl’s Guide to Getting Respect and Dealing When Your Line Is Crossed by Courtney Macavinta and Andrea Vander Pluym © 2005. Used with permission of Free Spirit Publishing Inc., Minneapolis, MN; 1-866-703-7322; www.freespirit.com. All rights reserved.Illustration by Catherine LePage © Free Spirit Publishing Inc. 2005